Hi I am 24 from a small island country in Asia. I suffer from severe mental illnesses and haven't had a good sleep for ages.
I had a disturbing childhood that basically killed the best of me. Once I was very happy when I lived in London, but I couldn't stay any longer due to visa issues and had to come back to this shit hole where stops me from being who I really am. I genuinely hate being in Asia and all the conservative/judgemental people/culture around me. But I'm likely to be stuck in here for long because I'm broke and so is my family. A dream of studying a master degree in the UK/ creating art 24/7 /working abroad seems impossible for me. I blame myself for not being able to control my life, my emotions, thoughts and all. I've been haunted by the past and traumatic experience, plus can't stop worrying the future too. Everything's fucked and I'm a real mess.
I've attempted to kill myself a couple times but failed as my family and some random people found out. Won't stop seeking the best way to death as long as I'm alive.
I can so relate with being in a country where the culture is shit. Hugs to you
Believing in the meaninglessness of the universe forces a dilemma onto people - whether to ignore the void, commit suicide or accept and laugh at the absurdity of the joke.
Most people go with option 1. While option 3 seems superior to option 2, in a meaningless universe they are exactly the same - the 3rd is just easier for some, since it lines up with survival instinct. For some of the people here, the pain of the void is conceptually more than the pain of dying - they're just looking to minimize their immediate pain by sharing it here and trying to find methods and a community.
You seem to believe in life having inherent value. Do you mind explaining your reasoning behind that?
I agree. Life is no heaven. Nor a hell. It's just our own experience. If we find meaning in it, so it is, but it doesn't mean it has any meaning.
It's just like life of wild animals. One second you are around and the other you are running for your life. Fairness and unfairness doesnt come to it.
It's all just raw luck.
The point of nihilism isn't to say that we should all die, but that living and dying are both meaningless. People can construct value systems to be able to make themselves happy, but that doesn't change the nature of the behavior - it's being motivated by survival instinct. There's no doubt that a lot of people are there in this world, and that many of them are happy, but that isn't the point of nihilism. Nihilism instead states that there is no inherent value in anything in the universe. Thus, value is a construct maintained by each individual, and societies are formed when the same values are shared between multiple individuals. Thus, neither the people who choose to live nor those who choose to die are inherently right - they are merely making choices according to their own value system.
You seem to not share this idea of value being determined by people as individuals. Let's agree to disagree on that issue.
Sorry for the tangent, just go past these if you find them boring and pointless.
Can't agree more. Love Your thoughts
The point of nihilism isn't to say that we should all die, but that living and dying are both meaningless. People can construct value systems to be able to make themselves happy, but that doesn't change the nature of the behavior - it's being motivated by survival instinct. There's no doubt that a lot of people are there in this world, and that many of them are happy, but that isn't the point of nihilism. Nihilism instead states that there is no inherent value in anything in the universe. Thus, value is a construct maintained by each individual, and societies are formed when the same values are shared between multiple individuals. Thus, neither the people who choose to live nor those who choose to die are inherently right - they are merely making choices according to their own value system.
You seem to not share this idea of value being determined by people as individuals. Let's agree to disagree on that issue.
Sorry for the tangent, just go past these if you find them boring and pointless.
Can't agree more. Love Your thoughts
I believe there are positives and alternatives but the truth is - life isn't quite fair.
When you dream big but don't have a healthy body, a relatively good environment, enough substantial and financial resources, strong personal background and experience, support from your family and friends... not to mention my loveless childhood and teenage years, and the mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD) I've been suffering from for years.
A messed up childhood does affect me a lot. It's really not easy to see the light in my position. You can't choose where you come from, can't go back in time to fix your shit; You try to live in the present but got stuck in a certain situation and surely you won't get out very soon; You try to move on towards to the future but the uncertainty of it drags you back and you can't stop constantly worrying about things.
And you blame yourself for all this.
After you analyse everything you come to the conclusion - death is the immediate solution to ease the pain.
If everything is out of control but death, why shouldn't I go for it? Not saying that I have to go but it's the only thing I get to control now.
You might not agree but here's just my theory.
Life is no fairy tale. Not always.
The most important word in history according to me is "sometimes".
For some life is sometimes heaven and they will do anything to live long.
Sometimes it's not the case for many. They can't stand the thought of existing a second longer.
It's just all based on acceptance. That sometimes death really might be the humane way out, when this life really didn't give you the circumstances to survive.
But many people tend to fall into that thought that you can control your destiny by working hard and so and so. And that if you don't, you are a lazy bum. They just might be ignorant and scared to accept the fact that life isn't really about control because no one has any.
Knowing that one doesn't have any control is scary. Because you never chose to be born in a particular place, with the People who inculcated beliefs in you, the country and its culture and so much more.
It all moulds you and all that you are and ever will be.
This world is guided by great uncertainty and it can be scary for majority. So ignorance spreads as people look for an escape to an idea or an entity which promises them this illusive control.
Nothing is promised in this world, no matter what you do.
