Is this really what my life has come to? Posting memes on Reddit, playing games and posting caps on it online, just so that I can get some positive feedback and for someone to agree with me for once, just for the sake of fake points.
I'm lonely. Jobless, despite knowing that I could get a job I hate but can do. But I choose to not call and set up interviews because I'm too scared and want to mooch off my mom's hospitality a little bit longer.
Everyday is darkness, I have no friends or anyone to relate too, I watch tv/movies whole day. I diagnosed myself as having depression and anxiety. I know I have both, I know I have anxiety more, but I also wonder if I just say that to either fool myself or self destruct.
Though the fact that my mind makes up hypothecticl, irrational and ilogical situations to make me afraid, and getting worse as the days go by, is proof of my anxiety.
I regret staying alive. And yet still now I feel like I'm forced to kill myself. I dunno when I went from wanting to do it to being strongarmed into doing it. But it's so unfair that I have to do it.
Where do I go from here? What do I do? How do I find myself? How do I fix it? I guess I'll never be brave enough to know.