Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[VIBRITANNIA]

it hurts. i know i deserve it, but it hurts. my mind won't shut up. i've got things i need to do. why won't it shut up? please shut up. i'll commit suicide on new year's. that's only three months away. we can survive until then. it'll be okay. i can take sleeping pills. it'll be okay. i'll forget. it'll be okay. the sn is always there. it's okay. it'll be okay, even if it's agonizing right now. my thoughts will slow down. tomorrow, everything will be fine. this will pass, even if it hurts.

 

[fejcavalcante]

I feel lost and tired.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It hurts.

 

[virginiawoolf86]

Full. Drunk. Ready to die. Empty. Lonely. Like I'll never be myself again. I miss having feelings. Enjoying things...hating things. I house death. I miss my life. Why can't I sleep?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm just so so heartbroken. I told myself I wouldn't let this happen to me again but I fell too easily and that's my fault. I wish I could CTB but I'm stubborn on following my promises I guess. Still three plus years to go.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I want to punch holes in walls right now just like I do every other day.

 

[http-410]

It fluctuates between numb/indifferent and hopeless.

 

[sufferingalways]

Like I'm in prison. No rights. The neighbours do as they please, sleep as needed. Mine's a shit fucking existence.

 

[Lmd]

Alone. Wish I could speak with someone about how I feel

 

[Lilacmoon]

It feels like I'm screaming and no one notices or hears. Sometimes I wish I was a worse actress so maybe someone could notice and at least pretend to care but I also want to stay invisible and scream to no one so at least when I try to die no one can stop me

 

[Gentleman]

Anger and frustation. Like a punching bag that is tossed around and thrown out into the garbage after being worn out.

 

[Deleted member 20852]

Defeated and just nothing

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Irritation, frustration, anger.
Flies.
They queue up outside the back door and three buzz in as soon as it's opened. Then they spend the rest of the day banging their little buzzy heads against the windows trying to get out. Can they get out an open window? Or the fucking big hole that is the wide open door? Can they fuck.
So I have to chase them out of the open window, which involves me dancing around the house swearing in frustration. Then guess what? I only left the bloody door open and the little fuckers fly back in!
Arrrrrggggg.
Why?

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Painful bittersweet yearning, like there's a hook in my chest and it is pulling, pulling me somewhere I just can't go, about to tear me apart, open up my ribcage and rip out my heart.
For the first time in years I have poetry forming in my head. All these words boiling up about to pour over, but there is nowhere to pour them, no one to listen I don't have anyone to talk to anymore.
My heart is messing up my head.

 

[IRIYAMA]

Massive neuropathic pain, fatigue, exhaustion and inability to function....

 

[wonderworld]

im worried, im worried about money, im worried about my current job and worried about the 100s of jobs I've applied for, I'm worried about change but i need this change to happen, I'm worried about COVID and the second lockdown, I'm worried that my new job i will hate and I'm worried about being actively suicidal again.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I wish I could be invisible.

 

[HelloHell]

tired, numb

 

[Lilacmoon]

i wanna die i wanna die how long can i hold on? how long until I give up?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

All day I've been going from despair to numb/foggy, back to despair...the cycle repeats. It sucks. I'm so tired.

 

[Rue89]

Empty with slight anxiety

 

[http-410]

It's cold, there's numbness and a desire for self destruction.

 

[Weary Soul]

I am in an absolute state of shock. A long-time friend that I met over the internet just offered to help me. No one, absolutely no one has ever offered to help me irl. I was always the one that was expected to be strong and help them, and then when I needed help? Nothing, not only that I got verbally and physically abused. I am sitting here sobbing my eyes out. I do not know what to make of it, or if anything will come of it, but omg. Shocked.

 

[k75]

My dad is having cancer surgery in a few days. We've been waiting all year for this. I'm really scared. I'm 2,000 miles away, so there's really nothing I can do. I postponed my plans last year because he got sick.

 

[demuic]

Angry, annoyed, laughing at the utter stupidity that is the world... Wishing for eternal sleep and going back to non-existence.

 

[signifying nothing]

Zzzzmmmppphhhhh.
Juggling. Fizzling. Turning. Hurting. Worse.

 

[stygal]

Questioning the universe again:
Why am I even here?
I find next to no joy in anything and have to deal with my pain.
Thanks a lot.

 

[fleckentarn]

i feel a sense of being denied happiness i guess, failures and lack of accomplishments, 18 years amounting to nothing but attempts and scars and turning to substances

 

[wonderworld]

im feeling gross, i went to oxford street ( i live like 40 minutes away on bus) trying to get presents for family, just made me feel like shit, because i have no job so my imcome atm is fucked also made me feel so lonely, then next minute i went on my instagram and my old flatmates are hanging out partying together, again more proof that i dont have anyfriends and never will (deleted the instagram account )

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I feel very tired...and the usual loneliness and melancholy. Dull.