Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Namelesa]

I feel so trapped and hopeless. I don't have access to any ctb method now as the only method I could use is unreliable now. I just want to be free from this existence. I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want to continue anymore of this. I can't deal with the emptiness, guilt, fear and misery anymore. I just want this to end.

 

[TheHolySword]

I can't handle this pain anymore. why did I destroy everything when I still had time left. I could have enjoyed my last days as much as I could. I put myself and others in misery because I thought it would save them. I'm so miserable. I want it all to end. I only have a few months to go but this is agony

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I want to starve myself out of pettiness because wanting to eat pizza got me called a pig by a family member while everyone agreed (๑>◡<๑).

In other news, I don't want to be around my family anymore!（╹◡╹）

 

[crayonscrayons]

.

fuck them. I don't understand how people can think this shit is okay. it's rude as hell, and it might be projecting and pack-mentality. they suck for saying that, and everyone sucks for agreeing

 

[SA1994EC]

I am screaming in the pitch dark. No one is here to hear it. My voice just disappears in the darkness.

 

[TheHolySword]

tired of going to work every day. i would quit if i could and spend the rest of my days in misery until i got the chance to ctb. instead im forced to exist like i am not suffering. i'm tired of acting.

 

[Sockeye Salmon]

IT DOESN'T GET BETTER

 

[Violet7]

I'm stuck in a body that doesn't cooperate. I have disabilities and My body is rejecting medication and I can't taper fast enough or I sieze. I wish I could make a post and ask a question but I don't now how and don't know if I'm eligible yet. This site confuses me sometimes as I also have a brain injury.

 

[frailcoffee]

I feel doomed. I'm 21 soon going to be 22. I've no achievements, no friends, nothing but self loathe and resentment. I desperately seek change but I just can't bring myself to do what it takes for me to get better. I'm so scared all the time, every opportunity that's been given to me I've turned down out of fear of being rejected. I hide away from everyone because I don't want to get hurt ever again

 

[Electra]

I feel in a state of flux. A little bit of everything even. But a little better than yesterday.

 

[Tuonetar_]

Fuck's sake, my upstairs neighbors have decided that their new late-night hobby is dragging heavy objects back and forth across the fuckin floor

 

[cgrtt.brns]

im a fucking walking disaster. i ruin everything. im a burden. i only make mistakes and bad decisions. i need to be locked away or die so i dont destroy and ruin everything for everyone else. im terrified of everything including myself. i dont want to be here anymore bc im just a useless burden that only ever ruins everything.

 

[Sockeye Salmon]

remember, the bad guys always win
so what are you gonna be?

 

[Anomaly]

I am suffering from a terrible malady called "consciousness."

 

[Namelesa]

Please someone kill me please. I don't want to live anymore. I can't handle the mental torture in my brain anymore. I am trapped here with no method and I don't know how to get better. Someone please kill me. The boredom, the guilt, the emptiness, the worthless, the self-loathing, the overwhelming emotions, I can't take it anymore.

 

[yowai]

God let it be tommorow already I don't have energy to do anything sleep too much and feel like crying again for no reason just let me have that stupid powder again

 

[Electra]

FUCK THIS SHIT, AND FUCK THAT SON OF A BITCH TOO! I WISH HE WOULD PUT HIS ANGER UP HIS ASS AND NOT ON INNOCENT PEOPLE. I'M SO FUCKING MAD AT HIM, AND AT HIS IGNORANCE ON PEOPLE. HOW CAN A GROWN UP BE SO OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY AND NOT CONTROL HIMSELF?! I AM LITERALLY FUMING! HE CAN GET FUCKED!

 

[HereTomorrow]

Dissatisfied with the state of the world, and powerless to do anything about it. Helpless to the people who have hurt me and told me I'm weak. I want to get back into self harming but I know how addicting it is. I'm hurting, and just want a new life.

 

[Electra]

FUCK THIS SHIT, AND FUCK THAT SON OF A BITCH TOO! I WISH HE WOULD PUT HIS ANGER UP HIS ASS AND NOT ON INNOCENT PEOPLE. I'M SO FUCKING MAD AT HIM, AND AT HIS IGNORANCE ON PEOPLE. HOW CAN A GROWN UP BE SO OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY AND NOT CONTROL HIMSELF?! I AM LITERALLY FUMING! HE CAN GET FUCKED!

Almost lost my cool there. I'm a little more relieved now.

 

[ForgiveMeFriends]

I feel bad, but neutral. Ever since l stopped drinking, it feels like...a switch responsible for joy was flipped inside my head. No matter what happens, what l do, what l TRY to do, it remains lodged and broken like that. Aside from that, I'm contemplating if l should try to reconnect with a friend l very obviously upset.

 

[CTB Dream]

This want slp no wake rly awfl lif

 

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

Rn chilling in the middle of ctb-ing, doing partial, feels like my eyes are going to pop out of their sockets, I hope they don't

8/10 experience, pretty relaxed
When I practiced in the past I thought partial was an ineffective practice, but it's good now with a different set up
Edit: didn't work

 

[Electra]

I'm feeling anxious right now. Uncomfortable. Doubtful.

 

[GlassMoon]

Nervous, anxious, expecting a lot of blame to come my way soon... hope I can fight it off... I'm scared that I might not and accept the guilt which is not mine to bear... I've done my share, now it's somebody else's turn to make a move instead of blaming...

 

[CTB Dream]

rly afrd all hpn disapre me disapr

 

[sukiduki]

i feel a lot of conflicting feelings. i wanna be grateful and thankful for the things i do have, but i feel a lot of pain and also don't have certain things that i think others take for granted. idk what to do. i feel so lost and so disconnected. i wanna feel heard, i wanna connect. i wanna disappear. i feel like i have to hold on for arbritrary reasons. idk when to fully pull the trigger

 

[Electra]

Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. I want it to stop. I also can tell I'm being too hard on myself. Wanna stop that as well.

 

[GlassMoon]

Anxiety, deep, from within, like a demon lurking in the shadows. Searching for safety. Shaken by every sound from outside of my room.

 

[MillieXIO]

This world is so scary and cold. Everyone hates everyone else and crimes and atrocities occur everyday. Ever since my friend died, I just don't understand the reason for being alive. Horrible things happen to the most gentle, loving people. Unsuspecting high school graduates can become victims of violent, hateful, senseless crimes. The world is so divided by borders and ideals. People, throughout all of history, have killed others because of things like... Differences in religion.
I just don't get it. I recently watched Madoka Magica. I think, in any of their places, I would wish for the end of intelligent life.
I just think this world is so scary.

 

[TheHolySword]

i confessed my feelings for you one year ago today. i miss your voice and your laugh, your softness and kindness, your warmth and your heart. i destroyed everything and now im here, so i could be here. and you wouldn't have to see. it won't be long now. but i'm still thinking of you.