Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[NodusTollens]

Resolved with my decisions.

 

[ScaredGirl]

I feel lonely empty trapped I'm in unbearable mental and physical pain and I'm scared. I'm so helpless and hopeless

 

[ThisWillNeverStop]

I feel tired and empty.
Oh and dizzy since about ten days I don't even know why. Tiredness and anxiety I suppose.

 

[Dortydoo]

I feel very lonely , i crave for love and affection and i just want to feel something

 

[WornOutLife]

Resurrected.

 

[Soulless Angel]

Not enough rum
I want out
I am done
fucking trapped

 

[jisatsuko]

i feel like an empty water bottle... i can't really feel anything anymore but my head kinda hurts and my stomach burns :(....

 

[death137]

Worthless

 

[rhonda]

Lost...and very alone. Can't see any other way out bc I've been lost for 50yrs, and nobody's looking for me...never have never will. Still alive bc my fear of failure far surpasses anything and living a failed suicide attempt as a vegetable is not an option...seen it happen too many times. I'd rather walk around in a state of perpetual existential crisis than attempt to ctb and have an epic fail...been down that road, fortunately the failures left me relatively intact. And no, nobody saved me, nobody even knew...just failed attempts that left me feeling even more lost and like I can't even get a suicide right ffs. One day...

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Well, I was looking at hotels again last night. Only slept an hour and tbh just feel horrible. I realized I don't even care about my parents' reactions anymore. Last week one of them was grieving, crying and screaming and all. I literally felt nothing but annoyance. :|

Idk how I feel right now. Kinda off.

 

[http-410]

Resignation and sadness.

 

[greebo6]

Empty

 

[signifying nothing]

Don't know, doesn't matter.

 

[jokesonme22]

my life is meaningless. I live for the few seconds of pleasure I get from talking to certain people. but then I treat them like shit the second the excitement dulls. I feel so empty all the time.

 

[L0b5t3r]

Bored, tired, done

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Mmm. My heart hurts and feels heavy. Don't feel well, and something just feels horribly wrong. I think I know what it is, too....

 

[Deleted member 17949]

angry sad scared and I want to be crushed by a train

 

[MrBlue]

Lonely

 

[Kassender]

This cannot continue.
I want it to fucking stop.

 

[winechateu]

angry. i dont know at who or what. i just want to hurt myself. i dont have the courage to actually cut myself but u feel like i deserve it because im a weak and annoying little bitch. im mad. cheers!

 

[hellodarkness]

Why won't this fuckin guy stop pacing my room and quoting the fucking King James to me? I have work in the fucking morning and Indon't have the luxury of being this crazy right now. I haven't studied Theology in ELEVEN FUCKING YEARS but I have more bibilically related auditory issues than Carter's got pills. Jesus fuck I get it, you will punish the wicked for their iniquity, I'm going to hell I already know that SO CAN I PLEASE GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT HAVING TO KLONOPIN AND ABILIFY OVERDOSE YOU AWAY

 

[NodusTollens]

I feel like I'm grieving my life... & I'm not even sure I'm choosing the right words- but it feels the most accurate.

I cry spontaneously when thinking about things that have brought me joy, I've put aside most things that don't bring pleasure, I'm spending my time reminiscing about the things that made happy as a child, tackled projects that gave me a sense of accomplishment, put time aside to journal or reflect & I'm coping. I suppose now that I'm resolved with my decision, I have the space to be; to exist as a I am. In a way, it's liberating- but sad.

Funny how the end of my life, is what brings me comfort.

 

[Amumu]

tired

 

[Mimsy]

My life is just passing time until I succeed in killing myself. There is no actual point to anything we fill our time with, it's all just a temporary distraction from the realisation that life has no meaning. Yesterday I felt desperate to end my life but too scared to act for fear of failing again (I'm in a locked psyc. hospital) Today I distracted myself well but now I feel calmly ready and ok with trying to ctb. What's the point in waking up to another day of time to fill. I will end my life eventually, I don't see there is any real reason to put it off, no amount of therapy is going to change the fact that I do not connect with being alive like other people seem to.

 

[rhonda]

Ready to ctb right now. So glad this is an anonymous forum of like minded people. The level of stress in my life is insurmountable and I can't see a way out... there is nothing left :(

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I can't wait to go. I'm itching. Going to treat meself and just go. People are as ready as they're going to be. So what will it be? H? Morphine? SN? Oxy plus Xanax? What will work? What can I get? How bad would SN be for me? I am so TIRED of thinking about this stuff, and I really want it over. But I can't get any of it out of my mind, it's something that's unfinished and I have real trouble leaving it like that, no matter how close to normal my life might return? I really just want to goooo

 

[Freedom Believer]

Tired and lost.

 

[combatcuteness]

Happy and Hopeful! (◡ ω ◡)

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Freaking out. Shaking shoulders and head. I have my pdoc appointment tomorrow and I'm fighting with myself because I'm starting to trust and need him and I swore I wouldn't. From my first appointment with him I told him that I've been abandoned by everyone - everyone - and I won't let that happen again. He, every week, tells me he won't. I feel trapped by the Universe that he's the only person in my life right now and I know I can trust him. But I also know that being dropped/abandoned/forgotten/disliked is my fate. He probably has no choice but to eventually do the same. I can't blame him but I also don't want to just sit back and wait for it to happen.

I want tomorrow's appointment to be a "thank you and goodbye" session so I can ctb. I want this so badly!

 

[http-410]

very tired, numb,/dissociated/drugged, resigned