• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,356
Welp. It's 8:45 AM and I haven't slept all night. I have an appointment in less than three hours with a physical therapist to see if my back needs any more fixing. After that I won't even have time to sleep because some friends I haven't seen in a while wanna hang out today. Maybe I should just cut my losses and get out of bed now to go to a coffee shop or something.

But hey at least I have a new mission to do for myself for the next few days before Shadow Generations is out.
1729093462237
What sucks is I already have the Pokédexes completed in the game itself but not in Home. To do that, I still have to import a bunch of natively caught Pokémon which I have yet to do so I guess that's what's going to be occupying a lot of my time.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, LifeQuitter and CTB Dream
CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,779
Me rly feellos no know wat do brain dtriort
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer and LifeQuitter
Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
675
I have free time off work, but I'm too tired to do anything. Many things I want to do, but the lack of energy and motivation.
I have free time off work, but I'm too tired to do anything. Many things I want to do, but the lack of energy and motivation.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, LifeQuitter and CTB Dream
J

JustAnx

Student
Oct 12, 2024
132
Sad. There's a tremendous internal struggle going on inside my mind. But mostly there's fear and anxiety. There's also a big lack of determination i can't seem to be determined either to hang in there and keep hoping that things will get better or to be determined to ctb. So i end up nowhere, in limbo. I'm so tired…
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, LifeQuitter and CTB Dream
CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,779
This me rly sffr need escp fst
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, amnesia999 and identity0
redkitsune98

redkitsune98

Broken beyond repair
Sep 2, 2024
181
lonely and misunderstood. really need love and a man to hug me and date me but i am still clinging on to my ex and wish i knew someone who could help me get in touch with him or have a convo with him about me to help him see how i am feeling. i feel worthless and miserable and everyone in their lives has me as a plan b and everyone around me seems to be doing better and living a better life. i cant tell anyone outside sasu about suicide without being judged
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer and CTB Dream
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,678
I'm actually in a good mood because I got my marks back for the exam I thought I failed and I actually did alright on it (I got a B on it). I'm assuming that this is because of the learning curve, which if that's the case and then thank fucking God for it!

Still stressed out though since I haven't gotten started yet on that essay for philosophy and I still have to catch up on a few lectures.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer and CTB Dream
amnesia999

amnesia999

Lie, lie, lie - Life is a lie
Jun 30, 2024
258
I'm in a financial bind right now and I have no clue how I'm going to get out of it.

Also, I might have more friends and be making more money if literally everything didn't make me anxious.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer and CTB Dream
cicatrezESP

cicatrezESP

in the time of the sixth sun
Oct 6, 2024
66
at my absolute limit
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer and CTB Dream
Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
675
I think I'm going to be okay. Months of disorienting feelings have started to go away for more than a day. They're still there, but I can think more clearly and be "in the zone" mentally where I don't give up on tasks because I can't even percieve the object in front of me.

Eating my own home cooked stir fry, I'm hoping this will last.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, CTB Dream and amnesia999
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,356
I'm such a terrible person. I lied to my manager and said I scheduled a therapy appointment for next month but really I have no plans and even if I did I have no idea where to start. How did I even get a therapist last time? It didn't work but I can't believe I ever even got started a few months ago.

It's all so stupid and pointless anyway. What is even the point of trying to help someone so evil and cruel as I? I know I sound like a broken record but I hate when people try to insist that I'm not so evil. I hate it so much. Stop being so stupid and letting me deceive you all so much. Wake up and realize just how much of a bad person I am. Why can't they see???
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer and CTB Dream
amnesia999

amnesia999

Lie, lie, lie - Life is a lie
Jun 30, 2024
258
Kind of sad.

I have a tendency to act as though what I think is the "correct" way to think, and to let others know their different opinions are wrong. (My father is even worse. He acts as though God is sitting on his shoulder, whispering into his ear. But I have to take responsibility for myself.) Telling people that their opinions are completely wrong can lead to, shall we say, bad outcomes in social situations. I need to learn how to just let things go and let people have their own opinions without getting into an argument or debate. Maybe some day.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and star.trip
star.trip

star.trip

Student
Oct 6, 2024
154
I feel sad and lonely
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and amnesia999
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
10,325
Deteriorating every day.... I don't think I will be able to keep doing this much longer. 😥
Why can't I just go to bed and never wake up. 🤬
Co-workers know I'm stupid.
I'm sorry I was given shitty DNA. 😭
Rocking back and forth in my chair.
So ready for this to end.....
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: star.trip, CTB Dream and amnesia999
P

Privateer2368

Member
Aug 18, 2024
75
Strangely hopeful.

I spent last night in hospital due to an allergic reaction, so I'm pretty exhausted and maybe sleep deprived.

I'm sad because my car broke down and I need to get a new one. This means I won't get in to work tomorrow. Working from home is no big deal, but I won't get to see Her. We only really cross paths on Mondays now and she's the highlight of my week. I want to talk about her all the time. It's silly.

Mostly I'm quite relaxed, though. I realise that may be exhaustion.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, amnesia999 and not-2-b-the-answer
Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
675
Masking like usual. I had a really bad emotional overwhelm today but I kept it all in and chewed gum and drank free work tea to calm down. I wish for advice on better ways to mask because I want it superglued to my face until I'm finally not suicidial or finally ready to CTB.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, CTB Dream and amnesia999
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,678
I feel less stressed out now that one of my assignments is finished (it isn't very good, but I got it in). I'm also really fucking frustrated right now and thus I am going to rant.

I came across this video while scrolling around on YouTube. In it, a father is holding his daughter in one hand, a beer in the other hand, and is trying to catch a baseball. In doing so, he nearly drops his daughter. When I went into the comment section expecting to see a bunch of people pointing out how irresponsible this is, but instead 99% of the comments were praising.

This pisses me off so much because it highlights how fathers, and men in general, are held to such a low standard that they end up being praised for the bare minimum. It's to the point where I've even seen men openly admit to it being insulting, especially fathers. Just the fact that he didn't drop his kid is enough for everyone to praise him for his "multitasking skills", joking about the situation and some even going as far as to see him as a good father. It's disgusting. Meanwhile, you can find a shit ton of comments hating on this mother for how she handled her daughter (it seems to be around maybe 3 years old) hitting her baby brother. In the clip, she doesn't react by screaming or freaking out, instead making sure to keep calm in order to not frighten and stress out the baby. Many in the comment section also mentioned that she disciplined her off-screen and pointed out reacted to the situation correctly. Despite this, she is getting shit on by many users who view her as being a horrible parent because of this incident. It's wild to compare the contrast between people getting pissed off at a mother despite seemingly handling the situation correctly vs a father who willingly endangered his daughter because he prioritizes his beer and baseballs over safety.

I should note that this isn't me praising the mother, rather it's me using an example to point out a clear double standard there seems to be.

I feel like parents aren't really held to a super high standard. There have been too many instances of me seeing parents being praised for doing what should be considered the bare minimum and a lot of people are quick to defend parents when it comes to them mistreating their children. You can hit a kid and it's fine but if you hit an adult it's assault. However, mothers are held to a much higher standard than fathers, so you constantly see fathers doing below the bare minimum when it comes to raising their kids yet getting all sorts of praise from others. If a father brings their kid to school while their kid is still in their pajamas and their hair is all messy, it's cute. A mother does the same, it's neglect.

This also reflects how wider society views children. We like to pretend as though we care about keeping them safe and ensuring that they grow up to be good adults, but we don't. When we see a parent being irresponsible and putting their child's life in danger, we laugh it off so long as it's framed in a funny way. Meanwhile, we become hyper-fixated on punishing children for all of their wrong-doings, usually prioritizing physical punishments over time-outs and positive reinforcement. It's like people only care about children under the context of them being cute. The minute that they start to act a certain that isn't perceived as cute is the minute that we don't care about their well-being anymore, instead responding with aggression towards them.

Anyway, I hope that the father has his kid taken away from him. Dumbasses like that shouldn't be allowed around children.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer and CTB Dream
DunnoWhyButYeah

DunnoWhyButYeah

~*-*~
Apr 3, 2020
396
I break down crying constantly. I am anxious. I miss my dad a lot. I feel like I can't make it. He never knew how to be close to me, but I know he still loved me. He showed it in his own way. He's better now, but I can't make it...

I'd like to leave already, but I have to organize his funeral and everything... I have to stay here even though I don't want to. My grandmother can't survive if I'm gone, and my children probably wouldn't be able to handle it either. Is it still right that I have to suffer year after year to make others feel better?

I would have liked to see my father, but I didn't have time. I was told I could not visit him! I waited whole weekend when I can and then... And when I called the hospital to ask if I could... It was at that moment that they tried to revive him one last time.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: fleetingnight, not-2-b-the-answer, star.trip and 1 other person
endless-void

endless-void

Void
Jul 31, 2023
47
I was sad then made me a chocolate sandwich and now I'm not sad
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: fleetingnight, CTB Dream and not-2-b-the-answer
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

I have finally found my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,801
I feel extremely shitty and I'm in a lot of pain due to life itself as well as dealing with some stupid religious bullshit in a third world country.

I wish that I had some sort of ghost or spirit by my side 24/7 who I can vent to and is empathetic to my suffering and pain. I hate at how I have to go insane alone and deal with life alone for the most part. I need directions on how I can be dead as early as possible. It's just so unfair that I'm alone for most of the day
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer, fleetingnight and 1 other person
Lish

Lish

I, too, shall burn
Jun 4, 2024
39
Indifferent.

The only thing I care about is writing and reading.

Everything else can come and go.

I'll feel much better once I have a firearm. For once in my life, I'll be in full control.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and fleetingnight
BecomingDiamond

BecomingDiamond

"Happiness isn't a Luxury." -C
Sep 25, 2024
16
Im alone right now with my dog, terrified of the future, feeling utterly worthless because I don't have a job and feel no energy to draw or practice my art.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: soledad.virgen, CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and 1 other person
CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,779
Me rly need euthnas me no psbl do any this me end
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Mirrory Me, ijustwishtodie, not-2-b-the-answer and 3 others
Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
675
I'm realizing I'm building a caffeine addiction. My job has been giving out free teas in the break room and it's giving me a surge of energy. They got this white tea that I add a sweetener to which tastes almost like a dessert without the extra calories. I've always been a tea person for almost a decade. I just love warm drinks.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, fleetingnight, CTB Dream and 1 other person
BeijaFlor

BeijaFlor

Dreamer
Oct 17, 2024
89
serenity

conflicted yet understanding

ponderous, doubtful

lonely

coming to terms

mellow

at peace, anguish

sadness
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, fleetingnight and CTB Dream
fleetingnight

fleetingnight

incapable of shutting up
May 2, 2024
653
I wanna sleep.

I hate that sleep started feeling good for me again. I hate it. It's so hard to convince myself to stay awake a bit longer and do the things I need to when rest sounds so nice. But I have so much to do. I haven't done anything today.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer, CTB Dream and amnesia999
Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
675
I've been helping a family member get into my retail job that explicitly says "We will note hire people who request holidays off" and instantly upon waking up my mother wants me to help that person (WHO IS NOT YET HIRED) for two holidays off as soon as they get hired. When I said this will look bad on him as a first impression and that I can't either she went into a fit saying "Well fine! I'm trying to be nice and here you are not going to college getting a job that will give you holidays off. I might as well kill myself since you're never making any money." and started screaming about how I could of been better.

The person I've been helping went to university, in $30k debt. Applied to 30 jobs in the area (which I've personally seen rejection letters all over) with his fresh degree, and essentially gave up and I helped him nearly guarantee him a high position retail job (literally. begged my general manager and vouched him. borderline nepotism but he's still being interviewed). She's upset I never went to university when the family member who lives nearby did and couldn't find something.

By the way I just woke up ten minutes ago. On my rare day off work. I feel like going back to sleep.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: fleetingnight, not-2-b-the-answer, amnesia999 and 1 other person
CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,779
No want stay this awfl wrld all pain sffr no stop
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: fleetingnight, not-2-b-the-answer, identity0 and 2 others
star.trip

star.trip

Student
Oct 6, 2024
154
I sit in a loop that goes up and down. Life is complicated.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: fleetingnight, Lostandlooking, CTB Dream and 1 other person
T

Thisisnotaname

Arcanist
Aug 27, 2024
427
Last evening with her and I can't be close with her... Because she knows how to talk to me and how i'm impulsive when she's asking some things... So I'm in my corner on the phone.
Anyway I can't talk to her about everthing... Already do that when I was drunk 2/3 days ago and she doesn't Taken attention to what I said...

Because I'm just crazy for her... And neighbourhood...

I will die next week. No one care about what I feel. Because I'm a burden for them. Everyday they talking about me, I heard them today again

Sad Cat Lady GIF by alixmcalpine


I hate this feeling... Really...
When the fuck is someone doesn't pay attention when people around talk everyday about him !?
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: fleetingnight, CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and 1 other person

Similar threads