• Hey Guest,

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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Specialist
Jan 11, 2024
328
I feel you, I've been feeling so needy/clingy today. I hope it goes away. I almost never feel this because I always isolate myself. Must be PMS doing its thing though :/
I'm curious how our cycle affects when we isolate. I've used a few period apps and it just usually says 'youre going to be bloaty and tired', but think I have PMDD and my cycle feels more severe
 
A

almost-there

Member
Sep 25, 2024
7
Hi!

I'm in my 20's and I was wondering if any of you also have a worst mental health during your period. I am kind of stable during the rest of the cycle, but during those 3 days my mind just collapses. I get worst and it's so hard to do anything. The suicide thoughts get so so hard and repetitive. And I am somewhat impulse, so I'm 90% sure that if I overcome SI it will be during my period when I'm on my lowest.

So, I wanted to know if any of you also experience this, and If so, do you do something to avoid it or reduce it? And, even if you don't experience it, what activities makes you happy/relax/confortable/etc? I'm just finding solutions to avoid thinking so hard about killing myself during those days.

English is not my first language, so, sorry if something didn't make sense. Let me know and I will fix it.
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
547
Hi!

I'm in my 20's and I was wondering if any of you also have a worst mental health during your period. I am kind of stable during the rest of the cycle, but during those 3 days my mind just collapses. I get worst and it's so hard to do anything. The suicide thoughts get so so hard and repetitive. And I am somewhat impulse, so I'm 90% sure that if I overcome SI it will be during my period when I'm on my lowest.

So, I wanted to know if any of you also experience this, and If so, do you do something to avoid it or reduce it? And, even if you don't experience it, what activities makes you happy/relax/confortable/etc? I'm just finding solutions to avoid thinking so hard about killing myself during those days.

English is not my first language, so, sorry if something didn't make sense. Let me know and I will fix it.
i noticed these past two months when i was off my birth control that i was much moodier and more agitated, especially the week before my period.

honestly, if it's extremely bad, it might be worth using birth control of some sort to just stop getting your periods altogether; that's what i normally do because i find getting my period annoying. if it's making you more suicidal that's an even better reason to take it, tbh, although i understand hormones might be a little intimidating.

(some info if you want: https://www.letstalkaboutit.nhs.uk/media/whrl3ibq/continuous-combined-pill-taking.pdf)
 
protector_iorek

protector_iorek

Member
Sep 26, 2023
19
Does anyone want to CTB because of misogyny and male violence against women?

I've never had a genuinely good male in my life. My father was absent and neglectful and then cheated on my mother. My mother then got sick with cancer when I was 13 and my father abandoned her. Which, if you've read statistics about sick women or terminally ill women, you know this is par for the course as most of the time when a woman is seriously ill her husband/boyfriend leaves her. My brother went MIA and left me and went no contact with everyone in the family, leaving me behind with the abuse and having to take on the burdens of everything. I never did anything harmful to him as his sister. I thought we were close but I guess he doesn't give a shit about me. It's been almost 15 years since I've seen him. I thought older brothers were supposed to care for their younger sisters, but I guess not.

Every romantic relationship I've been in has been abusive, manipulative or exploitative. Men whom I thought loved me like I loved them were just using me for sex, attention or resources (money or rides, when they didn't have their own vehicles). I've been raped by my partners multiple times.

The dating scene is horrible. Men will lie and say anything they think you want to hear in order to get you to let your defenses fall so they can get sex out of you. I've noticed they parrot your mannerisms and opinions as their own to get you to trust them. Often I've been on dates where men hardly say anything at all and then they try to kiss me or initiate sex at the end of the date. There have been times I thought I was getting to the point of trusting a man enough to initiate some sexual contact, only to have them take advantage of that situation and try to force me. Or if I said I wanted to stop or I don't want to do XYZ sex act, they've become angry and tantrum-y. One time a man told me outright "I would've never taken you out or invited you here if I'd known you were going to say no to sex." There are probably men here reading this who get off on these stories; so I'll just leave it and say this is just a handful of things that have happened to me.

I am heterosexual and have a lot of love to give, but I truly believe I am just a target of abuse to men. I don't know if I believe there is anyone out there for me. I have chosen to be alone forever because I don't trust anyone, let alone a man. How can they be so cruel and uncaring and selfish? I don't understand.

Ill never find or feel love, so I might as well just die.

Then there's the global oppression and suffering women experience around the world. Women and girls are the primary targets of rape, child sex abuse, child marriage, human and child trafficking, etc. Women are the only people who birth their very own oppressors, and (if you're het) are attracted to their oppressors. Women are suffering at the hands of male control, violence, religious law, or sexual exploitation right now all around the world. And the worst part is being gaslit about it. As if "sex work" is a good thing when tne
majority of prostitutes want to leave but can't because they can't afford it, they're being controlled by a pimp or being trafficked, they're suffering from addiction, or they can't afford to leave prostitution behind because they have no skills or education to do anything else. Then people turn around and act like "sex work" is empowering, when globally we know that's not true in the vast majority of cases and women are suffering and dying young because of sexual abuse and exploitation.

How am I supposed to live in a world that hates me for existing and I'm inherently a second class citizen?

Then there's existing as an ugly or fat woman. I've struggled with obesity my whole life and then got diagnosed with binge eating disorder. I'm an "unfuckable" woman so I'm even less worthy of help, attention, affection or even a glance from anyone in society. I don't want to be alive if my worth is attached to my appearance, and that's life for women. You're only worth anything if you're thin, young and attractive.

Fuckk this piece of shit world. I don't want to be here. All I see is misogyny and lack of humanity. I fucking hate it here. And I'm tired of being gaslit about the extent of hatred of women. "Well aKSHuaLly…" I don't fucking care. It takes 2 seconds to google statistics about violence against women and know that what I've said above is true. But somehow there's always someone coming along to try a "what about the men" or to try to smooth it all over like it's no big deal.

I'm hated for existing as a woman. Since society wants me gone anyway, I'll just do the dirty work and take my own self out.
 
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sevennn

sevennn

Wizard
Sep 11, 2024
609
Does anyone want to CTB because of misogyny and male violence against women?

I've never had a genuinely good male in my life. My father was absent and neglectful and then cheated on my mother. My mother then got sick with cancer when I was 13 and my father abandoned her. Which, if you've read statistics about sick women or terminally ill women, you know this is par for the course as most of the time when a woman is seriously ill her husband/boyfriend leaves her. My brother went MIA and left me and went no contact with everyone in the family, leaving me behind with the abuse and having to take on the burdens of everything. I never did anything harmful to him as his sister. I thought we were close but I guess he doesn't give a shit about me. It's been almost 15 years since I've seen him. I thought older brothers were supposed to care for their younger sisters, but I guess not.

Every romantic relationship I've been in has been abusive, manipulative or exploitative. Men whom I thought loved me like I loved them were just using me for sex, attention or resources (money or rides, when they didn't have their own vehicles). I've been raped by my partners multiple times.

The dating scene is horrible. Men will lie and say anything they think you want to hear in order to get you to let your defenses fall so they can get sex out of you. I've noticed they parrot your mannerisms and opinions as their own to get you to trust them. Often I've been on dates where men hardly say anything at all and then they try to kiss me or initiate sex at the end of the date. There have been times I thought I was getting to the point of trusting a man enough to initiate some sexual contact, only to have them take advantage of that situation and try to force me. Or if I said I wanted to stop or I don't want to do XYZ sex act, they've become angry and tantrum-y. One time a man told me outright "I would've never taken you out or invited you here if I'd known you were going to say no to sex." There are probably men here reading this who get off on these stories; so I'll just leave it and say this is just a handful of things that have happened to me.

I am heterosexual and have a lot of love to give, but I truly believe I am just a target of abuse to men. I don't know if I believe there is anyone out there for me. I have chosen to be alone forever because I don't trust anyone, let alone a man. How can they be so cruel and uncaring and selfish? I don't understand.

Ill never find or feel love, so I might as well just die.

Then there's the global oppression and suffering women experience around the world. Women and girls are the primary targets of rape, child sex abuse, child marriage, human and child trafficking, etc. Women are the only people who birth their very own oppressors, and (if you're het) are attracted to their oppressors. Women are suffering at the hands of male control, violence, religious law, or sexual exploitation right now all around the world. And the worst part is being gaslit about it. As if "sex work" is a good thing when tne
majority of prostitutes want to leave but can't because they can't afford it, they're being controlled by a pimp or being trafficked, they're suffering from addiction, or they can't afford to leave prostitution behind because they have no skills or education to do anything else. Then people turn around and act like "sex work" is empowering, when globally we know that's not true in the vast majority of cases and women are suffering and dying young because of sexual abuse and exploitation.

How am I supposed to live in a world that hates me for existing and I'm inherently a second class citizen?

Then there's existing as an ugly or fat woman. I've struggled with obesity my whole life and then got diagnosed with binge eating disorder. I'm an "unfuckable" woman so I'm even less worthy of help, attention, affection or even a glance from anyone in society. I don't want to be alive if my worth is attached to my appearance, and that's life for women. You're only worth anything if you're thin, young and attractive.

Fuckk this piece of shit world. I don't want to be here. All I see is misogyny and lack of humanity. I fucking hate it here. And I'm tired of being gaslit about the extent of hatred of women. "Well aKSHuaLly…" I don't fucking care. It takes 2 seconds to google statistics about violence against women and know that what I've said above is true. But somehow there's always someone coming along to try a "what about the men" or to try to smooth it all over like it's no big deal.

I'm hated for existing as a woman. Since society wants me gone anyway, I'll just do the dirty work and take my own self out.
agree with you. feel the same. it's disgusting and horrifying how much they hate us for no reason. psychopaths
 
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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Specialist
Jan 11, 2024
328
Hi!

I'm in my 20's and I was wondering if any of you also have a worst mental health during your period. I am kind of stable during the rest of the cycle, but during those 3 days my mind just collapses. I get worst and it's so hard to do anything. The suicide thoughts get so so hard and repetitive. And I am somewhat impulse, so I'm 90% sure that if I overcome SI it will be during my period when I'm on my lowest.

So, I wanted to know if any of you also experience this, and If so, do you do something to avoid it or reduce it? And, even if you don't experience it, what activities makes you happy/relax/confortable/etc? I'm just finding solutions to avoid thinking so hard about killing myself during those days.

English is not my first language, so, sorry if something didn't make sense. Let me know and I will fix it.
There's something called PMDD worth looking into. I wish I could say I have better ways to cope but I'm here and in pretty bad burnout. I do exercise and meditate which can help a great deal, but it's very very hard to be a woman right now.
 
Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,980
 
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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Specialist
Jan 11, 2024
328
I am afraid of most men. Trauma has stolen my sense of trust from the abuse. I feel scared all the time. It's why I'm not afraid to die anymore. Can't have nightmares when you're dead
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,633
Me no want intrct human also spcfc no want male, rly now many many atk hars talk agrsv me rly disabl no wrd brain ,come scum agrsv hurt me, ya this truth see me injury damage womn all come atk me same anml mnstr
 
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RosebyAnyName

RosebyAnyName

Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
Nov 9, 2023
235
Got "triggered" again.

I wanted to try and get into reading more, so I thought I'd look into the Bridgerton book series out of curiosity. However, the consensus is that the books are terrible, and the netflix adaptation is better.

The series, created by a man (Chris Van Dusen), is considered better than the books, which were written by a woman (Julia Quinn). Which reminded me of that horrible Velma show that was heavily panned was mostly produced by a woman (Mindy Kaling), while the original Scooby-Doo was created by two men (Joe Ruby and Ken Spears). Which reminded me that the original Rugrats show was created by a couple, and the man is considered the "real creator" while the woman had "bad ideas that made the show worse."

I want to get into writing and/or animation, but I can't help but feel like I'm doomed because I'm AFAB. There are no AFAB creators in my field to look up to, they're all either men, or "women who can't write." I really don't want to believe it, but I'm starting to think that women aren't good at anything. They're heavily underrepresented in every field of study, artform, and leadership role that matters, even after multiple decades of equal opportunity. I wish I could be seen as more than a sexdoll, since that's my only value as a person anyways given what I've seen in the real world.
 
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EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
1,008
Got "triggered" again.

I wanted to try and get into reading more, so I thought I'd look into the Bridgerton book series out of curiosity. However, the consensus is that the books are terrible, and the netflix adaptation is better.

The series, created by a man (Chris Van Dusen), is considered better than the books, which were written by a woman (Julia Quinn). Which reminded me of that horrible Velma show that was heavily panned was mostly produced by a woman (Mindy Kaling), while the original Scooby-Doo was created by two men (Joe Ruby and Ken Spears). Which reminded me that the original Rugrats show was created by a couple, and the man is considered the "real creator" while the woman had "bad ideas that made the show worse."

I want to get into writing and/or animation, but I can't help but feel like I'm doomed because I'm AFAB. There are no AFAB creators in my field to look up to, they're all either men, or "women who can't write." I really don't want to believe it, but I'm starting to think that women aren't good at anything. They're heavily underrepresented in every field of study, artform, and leadership role that matters, even after multiple decades of equal opportunity. I wish I could be seen as more than a sexdoll, since that's my only value as a person anyways given what I've seen in the real world.
I'm sorry to hear that you're upset about that~ :( Most people in the field I'm in (education) tend to be women including the college professors who teach us everything~ and also, sure, a lot of media made by women might not be great, but that applies for men as well as men have created the majority of the worst films ever made~ On the other hand, I know that I've read a lot of good books, and a lot of them are made by women like Agatha Christie, Harper Lee, or Yuki Midorikawa~ As long as you're able to make quality content, come up with creative ideas, and given the opportunity; I'm sure you'll be able to do well in animation and/or writing too in spite of your fears! ^_^
 
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RosebyAnyName

RosebyAnyName

Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
Nov 9, 2023
235
I'm sorry to hear that you're upset about that~ :( Most people in the field I'm in (education) tend to be women including the college professors who teach us everything~ and also, sure, a lot of media made by women might not be great, but that applies for men as well as men have created the majority of the worst films ever made~ On the other hand, I know that I've read a lot of good books, and a lot of them are made by women like Agatha Christie, Harper Lee, or Yuki Midorikawa~ As long as you're able to make quality content, come up with creative ideas, and given the opportunity; I'm sure you'll be able to do well in animation and/or writing too in spite of your fears! ^_^
Thanks, and thanks for the book recommendations as well! I feel a bit better now.
 
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lnlybnny

lnlybnny

the art of being alone
Jan 25, 2024
536
I also never had a good experience with men, I think I learned it since my childhood when my father went away to live his life and emotionally neglected me; I feel they always disappoint you in the end no matter what.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
2,980
Got "triggered" again.

I wanted to try and get into reading more, so I thought I'd look into the Bridgerton book series out of curiosity. However, the consensus is that the books are terrible, and the netflix adaptation is better.

The series, created by a man (Chris Van Dusen), is considered better than the books, which were written by a woman (Julia Quinn). Which reminded me of that horrible Velma show that was heavily panned was mostly produced by a woman (Mindy Kaling), while the original Scooby-Doo was created by two men (Joe Ruby and Ken Spears). Which reminded me that the original Rugrats show was created by a couple, and the man is considered the "real creator" while the woman had "bad ideas that made the show worse."

I want to get into writing and/or animation, but I can't help but feel like I'm doomed because I'm AFAB. There are no AFAB creators in my field to look up to, they're all either men, or "women who can't write." I really don't want to believe it, but I'm starting to think that women aren't good at anything. They're heavily underrepresented in every field of study, artform, and leadership role that matters, even after multiple decades of equal opportunity. I wish I could be seen as more than a sexdoll, since that's my only value as a person anyways given what I've seen in the real world.

Jne Austn = knwn as 1 of th/ mst memrble authrs in histry

Franknstein - 1 of wrld mst wll-knwn hrror stries - ws writtn b/ womn

JK Rowlng - dsregardng th/ TERF contrvrsies - wrte 1 of th/ biggst frnchises in histry

Agtha Chrstie Poirot ws on par wth Shrlock Hlmes in sccess & qualty

& tht = nt includng all th/ womn wh/ submittd thr wrk undr mle pn-nmes bcse of sexsm in th/ indstry
 
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N

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
427
do you all do preventative healthcare? I am asking the females because I feel like there is more for us to be preventative about. I am talking breast exams, Pap smears, even regular healthcare like just getting a physical.

I would think for many of us this might be conflicting or is it just me? I obviously don't want to suffer and/or have a long, agonizing death,but then at the same time I have sick thoughts that if it's something bad and could possibly kill me, why bother?
I'm 44 so at this point, I should be doing mammograms which I've never done and next year is when I should start colonoscopies. Because of that I am now really starting to limit my doctor visits
( except for psychiatrist). The only one I go to is the dentist every six months lol.

Usually, the only thing that gets me to the doctor is being in extreme pain but now I feel like I have to avoid even my regular doctor because he's going to bring up all the tests I should be having at my age or send me to a specialist for something unrelated like if blood work comes back odd and they're going to talk about all the tests I should get
 
Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Specialist
Jan 11, 2024
328
do you all do preventative healthcare? I am asking the females because I feel like there is more for us to be preventative about. I am talking breast exams, Pap smears, even regular healthcare like just getting a physical.

I would think for many of us this might be conflicting or is it just me? I obviously don't want to suffer and/or have a long, agonizing death,but then at the same time I have sick thoughts that if it's something bad and could possibly kill me, why bother?
I'm 44 so at this point, I should be doing mammograms which I've never done and next year is when I should start colonoscopies. Because of that I am now really starting to limit my doctor visits
( except for psychiatrist). The only one I go to is the dentist every six months lol.

Usually, the only thing that gets me to the doctor is being in extreme pain but now I feel like I have to avoid even my regular doctor because he's going to bring up all the tests I should be having at my age or send me to a specialist for something unrelated like if blood work comes back odd and they're going to talk about all the tests I should get
I try to do as much as I can but have some medical trauma. The good thing is if you are healthy you only need a colonoscopy every 10 years. The mammogram is important to get. But I feel you - the experiences eel dreadful. I feel like they give me the tests I don't need and won't give the the tests I do need and I feel I have no doctors who listen to me.
 
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Goosechan

Goosechan

I'm so tired
Nov 1, 2024
94
There's something called PMDD worth looking into.
I just stumbled upon this place, in part because PMDD makes me wanna CTB like clockwork every month. It's truely a debilitating and understudied condition. Obviously I have lived experience, but I've also read a lot about it too so feel free to ping me with any questions or if anyone here wants someone to relate to that. I wanna be comforting and helpful for however long I will still be around.
I want to get into writing and/or animation, but I can't help but feel like I'm doomed because I'm AFAB. There are no AFAB creators in my field to look up to, they're all either men, or "women who can't write."
Seconding the recommendations given in the thread and I wanted to add Korean writers Min Jin Lee (I enjoyed Pachinko tremendously and while the Apple TV adaptation is good it doesn't come close to the book) and recent nobel laureate Han Kang. I'm currently reading some sorta YA hsitorical fantasy by Australian-Asian Shelley Parker-Chan and that is very entertaining, albeit a bit campy too. But KlI guess that comes with YA. And of course going for the classics there is Lousia May Alcott's Little Women too, that even deals with the themes of being a woman in a man world through the character Jo March.
 
sunbleachedfliess

sunbleachedfliess

they/she
Oct 21, 2024
20
I just stumbled upon this place, in part because PMDD makes me wanna CTB like clockwork every month. It's truely a debilitating and understudied condition. Obviously I have lived experience, but I've also read a lot about it too so feel free to ping me with any questions or if anyone here wants someone to relate to that. I wanna be comforting and helpful for however long I will still be around.

Seconding the recommendations given in the thread and I wanted to add Korean writers Min Jin Lee (I enjoyed Pachinko tremendously and while the Apple TV adaptation is good it doesn't come close to the book) and recent nobel laureate Han Kang. I'm currently reading some sorta YA hsitorical fantasy by Australian-Asian Shelley Parker-Chan and that is very entertaining, albeit a bit campy too. But KlI guess that comes with YA. And of course going for the classics there is Lousia May Alcott's Little Women too, that even deals with the themes of being a woman in a man world through the character Jo March.
on the topic of PMDD, there's a growing amount of research that taking antihistamines during that time can lessen suicidal feelings and mood swings, i'm low on spoons so i can't find sources right now but i know there is info on reddit about this if anyone is interested!
 
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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Specialist
Jan 11, 2024
328
Between hormones and neurodivergence and loneliness it's just been an awful couple of years and I just want to end. I have never felt so isolated and fearful. I have a few things I really want to do (like travel) but just feel so much like my life has fallen apart and may never work again and I'm so scared of the future.
 
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RosebyAnyName

RosebyAnyName

Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
Nov 9, 2023
235
I'm so tired of misogyny, I can't go anywhere anymore without being reminded of my inferiority as a female. Every comment, video, etc. I see where people cry about how women (fictional or otherwise) won't look like 18 year old supermodels with giant boobs and a tiny waist, or how women who don't get into a traditional marriage "deserve" to be r/ped, or how women only exist to make men happy, all of these beliefs and values I see now just makes me think: "this is why my misandry is justified." Men, and the women who worship them, don't just deserve my distrust, they've earned it entirely through their own self-admitted beliefs. Beliefs which they hold proudly and openly, only to then get surprised that other women are exiting the dating pool en masse.

I couldn't even search up this megathread without accidentally stumbling upon a slew of anti-female ragebait posts on this site. Being born female to me means being hated under all circumstances. I will never be loved as a person, only as a body that can be r/ped.
 
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RosebyAnyName

RosebyAnyName

Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
Nov 9, 2023
235
I wanted to start using a paper notebook, so I started looking at the ones I already had lying around because it didn't feel right to buy a new one right away when I could re-use ones I already had.

I found an old dream journal, and the first page contained the name of the boy who r/ped me, and the dream itself was about me throwing a knife at myself so I could ctb. I would have been 14 years old when I wrote that entry. Although I guess I'm not allowed to use the word "r/pe" because it wasn't "really r/pe" according to people in my life irl. Reading the entry made me spiral so badly just remembering his name and all the memories that followed.
 
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OutOfThisBody

OutOfThisBody

What kind of cruel god would put me in this body?
Aug 5, 2024
136
Being born as a woman makes me suicidal, for example because of shame about how hormones can make women more emotional at certain times of the month. It makes me ashamed that I can be caused to be overemotional from this while men don't have as dramatic mood swings. I feel like I can't argue against the claim that women are more emotional than men.
 
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lawlietsph

lawlietsph

can we be done here
May 6, 2023
181
Hey guys, I'm glad this thread exists, I was just wondering if anyone can relate. ☹️
I am a 28 years old woman, never had a relationship (only some online stuff but that doesn't count in my case)
and to be honest I crave love from a man, all I want is to be the most traditional housewife and cook, clean, take care of him, I want to cuddle, smell him, kiss him, belong to him and it makes me sick that I can't have these things
BUT!
I am also aware that men cheat, use you, you can never trust them and as soon as you get clingy, they get bored of you.
it's like this awful cycle, I crave their love and attention but at the same time I question everything they do
How can I kill my need for a man?
I talk to a guy online and I know he doesn't like me at all, but every single night I fell asleep imagining his arms around me. I can only sleep if I fantasize about how he's body is here next to mine. It is pathetic and I really don't want to feel this way. 😔
 
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lnlybnny

lnlybnny

the art of being alone
Jan 25, 2024
536
Hey guys, I'm glad this thread exists, I was just wondering if anyone can relate. ☹️
I am a 28 years old woman, never had a relationship (only some online stuff but that doesn't count in my case)
and to be honest I crave love from a man, all I want is to be the most traditional housewife and cook, clean, take care of him, I want to cuddle, smell him, kiss him, belong to him and it makes me sick that I can't have these things
BUT!
I am also aware that men cheat, use you, you can never trust them and as soon as you get clingy, they get bored of you.
it's like this awful cycle, I crave their love and attention but at the same time I question everything they do
How can I kill my need for a man?
I talk to a guy online and I know he doesn't like me at all, but every single night I fell asleep imagining his arms around me. I can only sleep if I fantasize about how he's body is here next to mine. It is pathetic and I really don't want to feel this way. 😔
Sometimes I think I should be a housewife too since I'm a 29 neet lol. But tbh I don't think I'd be good even for that. I get tired of too much physical contact quickly and I prefer to be isolated on my own most of the times. I'm glad I have ''someone'' (hate labels) that seems to be ok with it. We sleep together sometimes nowadays, stay together for couple of days every 15 days or something lately, and it's fine for me. I can have the physical aspect when I crave for it, not every day.

I understand what you mean though, it must be nice to have a shelter like that, but one thing I've learned is you can never rely on any human. I'm sorry you feel this way though.
 
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Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

Waiting for my next window of opportunity
Mar 9, 2024
1,057
*This is more of a vent than anything, I'm not expecting any actual advice because there isn't really anything you can do except stop thinking about it; just want to know if anyone relates.*

I can't help but lament that I never had any romantic experiences while I was still young and beautiful. I wish I could've known what it was like for a man who loved me in body and soul to gaze at me with desire in his eyes, to want me and only me. I wish I could've known gentle touch, reverent intimacy. I know it might happen in the future, but I can never get my young body back. Those years are gone and passed. The version of me that any future guy gets will be the charred leftovers, covered in the (figurative) scars of the abuse I've heaped onto my body in the intervening years.
 
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willow115

willow115

Member
Oct 9, 2024
77
I am afraid of most men. Trauma has stolen my sense of trust from the abuse. I feel scared all the time. It's why I'm not afraid to die anymore. Can't have nightmares when you're dead
I'm scared of men too. I was abused at work by many men and it ripped my soul out. The average man will cross into dark and hateful behavior quicker than most women. My father also abused me in such horrific manners. I've only ever had outlandishly bad experiences in life with men. I get scared to even even hear male voices now, I'm completely housebound by my trauma.

I know there are good men but the things I've seen, heard, and experienced has shown me something dark lurks in many men and it's impossible to unsee.
 
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ghost-shock

ghost-shock

Member
Oct 21, 2024
41
I'm scared of men too. I was abused at work by many men and it ripped my soul out. The average man will cross into dark and hateful behavior quicker than most women. My father also abused me in such horrific manners. I've only ever had outlandishly bad experiences in life with men. I get scared to even even hear male voices now, I'm completely housebound by my trauma.

I know there are good men but the things I've seen, heard, and experienced has shown me something dark lurks in many men and it's impossible to unsee.
Ive had bad experiences with men too, abused by my step father and bullied about my looks and skin tone by boys when i was in school. Ive also had men talk negatively about my looks. Seems they are more mean than nice in my life experience.
 
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YandereMikuMistress

YandereMikuMistress

you say falling victim to myself is weak, so be it
Apr 26, 2023
530
Ya know
I really fucking hate,
no i abhor this reality i was forced into by being born with a vagina.
To much information, mabyee?
Do I care, no.
 
acidreflux

acidreflux

Member
Dec 4, 2024
8
Is anyone else here autistic or suffers from PCOS? I feel like I was both mentally and physically fucked over in my chances of socialising with people. Aside from not having any good male role models in my life n all the traumatic things, the way men (throughout high school, college, etc) treat me for being an unattractive and autistic woman has made me lose desire for a heterosexual relationship. Assuming that there was any in the first place. I've found it difficult to mask and fit in with any of my male or female peers for my entire life to the point where I just think there's no point living in a world where you need to socialise to survive.
 
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lnlybnny

lnlybnny

the art of being alone
Jan 25, 2024
536
Does anyone sometimes feel absurdly worse on their period? I'm on those days and at least I'm on the verge of buying my SN. Can't stop crying, I'm a complete mess. I wish I could just disappear. The feelings are tearing me apart
 
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