Your biggest regret in life?

[LoveandCerulean]

I worked my a** off and got a job at one of the top law firms in the country. $200,000 starting salary. My corrupt school admin illegally kept me from graduating and I let my abusive father get in my head so much I couldn't adequately advocate for myself. I kind of gave my power away and now I'm 3 years out from the day the situation happened, on public benefits and facing eviction because I couldn't get over my trauma and fight for myself. I've been abused by my parents all my life and it feels like even when I win, it still gets taken from me somehow. I regret not fighting harder for myself when I had the energy and support. Now I'm just tired and want to rest.

 

[E Butler]

That I didn't push my problems on incredibly fragile people.

 

[~GeminiVII~]

My biggest regret (and trust me I have loads), but I'd say letting myself get so overweight as a child. That's what started the childhood bullying off, that's where all the problems started. Where all the trauma stems from. Losing almost 60kg can't fix all the emotional scars from the constant mocking I got every day of my life. Can't change the past though.

 

[TransTaxEvader]

not being smart enough to save my dad's life when he was dying on the floor

 

[LoveandCerulean]

My biggest regret is that I did not leave my batshit insane "mother" after I turned 18. I will kill myself because the damage is too great and can never be undone. I have no idea how I survived my childhood and teen years. The most unberable part is that she's literally not capable of basic human connection and she does not feel bad for abusing me, she's never sorry for what she's done, she only cares about herself. She expects me to serve her 24/7 as if it's the only reason I exist. Vile fucking excuse of a person, the only reason she had me is (quote) "I just wanted someone to love me and take care of me". Yet when I was a child/teen I was treated like a burden and me merely expressing basic human needs would send her into fits of hysterical rage, she would scream at me for hours about how selfish and ungrateful I am and she's literally the most mistreated person on the planet. She's the reason I became suicidal at 12 she blamed almost all of her adult problems on me and expected me to clean up her mess
I believe my brain is beyond repair, I feel nothing, I want nothing, I look forward to nothing. Nothing is left of me.

I feel this. I'm also on this forum because I had abusive, narcissistic parents and I feel like I've been damaged beyond repair because of it. This abusive family dynamic isn't understood well by mainstream public. Society's automatic assumption that all parents are well intentioned has damaged so many children who've had to grow up in that oppressive environment, so I understand your pain so much. It's very isolating because no one really understands unless they've experienced it and few have.

I often feel that if a child doesn't receive love during their formative years, it alters their brain forever. For me, it's been a lifetime of emotional isolation and I feel like this world is too dense for my sensitive soul. I fought valiantly for my life and was almost free until my parents did something horrible that altered the course of my adult life forever. Now I'm just tired. I genuinely gave it my best, but I don't think I will ever be able to live a fulfilling life given all that's transpired before me. I feel like I've crossed my threshold and prefer to just start over in a new incarnation.

 

[bipolar22]

My stupidity and cowardice

 

[DarknessAtNoon]

My inability to recognize and act on the true source of my problems when I was young enough for it to matter.

 

[needthebus]

There was someone who pretended to be a lot of things in order to try to date me, he lied a lot...

He violently sexually attacked me later and it left me injured.

I wish I had never met him

Something felt sleezy to me about him when I met him and I didn't trust that gut instinct and it was a mistake. I ended up going out with a psychopath who brutally hurt me. Multiple medical procedures later I'm still destroyed. He then went on to lie to people about much of what transpired, trying to make me seem crazy and unhinged which was really easy to do because after being hurt I became depressed and even more strange.

I used to be a very honest and credible albeit slightly strange person... quirky. Now people don't believe me and I've become an outcast of society due to sorrow.

I would give anything to have never met such a horrible person. It seems like the universe must really hate me.

 

[Saponification]

None, really. Apart from ever being born, of course. But I don't have any regrets in the sense of having something I wish I did or didn't do.

The reason is that I accepted the fact that my life was doomed to fail miserably from the start, and there's nothing I could've done to change that outcome. The thought gives me somewhat of a feeling of peace, as I realize it's not really my fault that I was born in the conditions that I did.