Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

Existence to me is something that just causes harm.
No matter what I truly will just see existence as something that just causes harm, it's just so harmful to be conscious in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts and I'll suffer as long as I exist, existence to me truly is the most harmful abomination that is ultimately responsible for endless amounts of cruelty and suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel. I personally see existence as nothing but suffering and it's suffering all for the sake of it that was always completely unnecessary, only in death will I be safe from all harm and suffering, only then will I be unable to feel pain in any way, to me existence is the most terrible tragedy.

I'd never wish to suffer in this horrific world and I could never see value to existence rather I just see it as an unnecessary harm which just causes all this torture and cruelty all for the sake of it until death takes away all anyway. My wish to die truly is a result of being conscious in this existence and I'll wish for death no matter what as I just don't wish to suffer at all, I just want nothingness instead, permanently ceasing to exist would solve everything for me as only then will this terrible, harmful existence no longer be my concern, there's just so much cruelty in this torturous existence. It's all just so horrible to me, I'll personally only be at peace when I'm unconscious for all eternity, ceasing to exist would solve everything for me as after all, all pain, problems and suffering are ultimately as a result of this harmful existence, the amount of harm this existence causes truly is beyond comprehension, I'd always prefer to die no matter what, I'll only be at peace once I no longer suffer in this terrible, torturous existence.

 

[whatcouldofbeen]

hey funeralcry,

just out of curiosity what do you think happens after catching the bus? why do you think we exist? me personally i think we exist kinda pointlessly or possibly inside a simulation or for archons (prison planet theory) or some combination / something similar. Hopefully after i die i have enough psychic energy to poltergiest a post about the beyond lol.

 

[FuneralCry]

The wish to never exist ever again.
All I could personally wish and hope for is to never exist ever again, I just want all to be gone and forgotten about for me, I'd never wish to suffer in this terrible, torturous existence where there is all this endless suffering and cruelty but rather I just wish to never exist ever again. I wish for the permanent absence of all pain and suffering where finally this existence is no longer my problem and I can be at peace, personally I'd always prefer to not exist as I find existing to be so deeply undesirable in every way possible but really I wish I never suffered more than anything.

I never should have suffered in this existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake, all I wish and hope for is to disappear from this existence, I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all as I just wish for relief from the terrible, torturous burden of human existence, I wish to be permanently unconscious and permanently unable of suffering but of course the suffering of existing just continues instead with me just hoping to be gone. I truly was never meant for any of this, I'll always find it deeply undesirable to suffer in this existence no matter what which is why I just hope and wish to never exist ever again, I just wish for permanent peace and freedom from all pointless unnecessary suffering in this existence I never would have wished for and never would have chosen, I just wish to never exist ever again and it's all I'll wish for, I could personally never see any value and benefit to existing rather existence is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what, only permanent non-existence can bring me the peace and relief I search for.

 

[whatcouldofbeen]

hey funeralcry

i have been your writing and its quite beautiful. so i guess thank you for providing some comfort to me. but it also made me think

if the egg theory /reincarnation is true. perhaps your a old soul or a matured soul that has reached maturity but unfortunately was left behind to suffer another cycle in the washing machine of the human condition? do you feel like a old soul?

The wish to never exist ever again.
All I could personally wish and hope for is to never exist ever again, I just want all to be gone and forgotten about for me, I'd never wish to suffer in this terrible, torturous existence where there is all this endless suffering and cruelty but rather I just wish to never exist ever again. I wish for the permanent absence of all pain and suffering where finally this existence is no longer my problem and I can be at peace, personally I'd always prefer to not exist as I find existing to be so deeply undesirable in every way possible but really I wish I never suffered more than anything.

I never should have suffered in this existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake, all I wish and hope for is to disappear from this existence, I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all as I just wish for relief from the terrible, torturous burden of human existence, I wish to be permanently unconscious and permanently unable of suffering but of course the suffering of existing just continues instead with me just hoping to be gone. I truly was never meant for any of this, I'll always find it deeply undesirable to suffer in this existence no matter what which is why I just hope and wish to never exist ever again, I just wish for permanent peace and freedom from all pointless unnecessary suffering in this existence I never would have wished for and never would have chosen, I just wish to never exist ever again and it's all I'll wish for, I could personally never see any value and benefit to existing rather existence is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what, only permanent non-existence can bring me the peace and relief I search for.

your a beautiful soul and i hope you can get the enternal peace you describe. I wish i was "smart" enough to be able to imagine the peace you describe it sounds mesmerizing. I always thought that the fleeting moments of happiness had a double-edged quality heightening the cutting despair of the lows of life
i think bojack horseman or something else said this but it presented 2 scenarios

1. you are happy and then you are sad
2. you were never happy and as a result your current sadness does not feel like suffering, similar to how adam and eve did not understand the shame in nudity before eating the apple

bad explanation but this video i half-assedly listened to touches on this

 

[FuneralCry]

I suffer simply from existing.
I truly do suffer simply from existing and I'll suffer until death takes away all for me, existence to me truly does feel like nothing but suffering and it's suffering so pointless and unnecessary that I'd never wish for no matter what, I personally just wish for permanent peace from all suffering and I just want to never suffer ever again, I suffer just from existing, as I find it deeply undesirable to exist in every way possible.

I'd never wish for any of the suffering this existence causes and brings rather I just want nothingness and as long as I exist I'll only hope for it, nothing would make me wish for the cruel, futile burden of human existence and more than anything I wish this existence was never imposed. I wish I was never forced into this existence of pointless unnecessary suffering where there is all this cruelty and pain all for the sake of it, existence to me is something so dreadful, I see existence as causing nothing but harm and I suffer simply from existing as I find it such a burden to exist and it's a burden that only permanently ceasing to exist can bring me peace from. I truly was never meant to suffer in this existence and just existing is enough to make me wish for death, I only hope and wish for the relief of an dreamless, eternal sleep where all is gone for me and forgotten about, non-existence truly is the only relief for me personally and I'd always prefer to painlessly die than suffer for the sake of it in this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake, existing to me truly is just suffering all for the sake of it and I'd never wish to suffer at all under any circumstance.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me ceasing to exist is the solution to escape from unnecessary suffering.
It truly would be the solution for me, ceasing to exist truly would solve everything for me and save me from all pointless, future suffering in this existence I never would have chosen and never would have wished for as after all if I don't exist then I cannot suffer in any way. There is no suffering in what I see as the ideal state which is eternal non-existence, there is no disadvatages to never suffering again yet there is no limit as to how unbearable the torture of existing can get, for me personally a permanent solution to what I see as the ultimate problem which is existence itself is all I'll hope for.

I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all, I find it such a futile, torturous burden to be conscious in this existence and have to experience anything at all and it's a burden that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there was never a need for, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence rather I just hope to never suffer ever again. I wish to be permanently unable to suffer, I see nothing desirable about suffering in this existence that was completely unnecessary rather I just want death to solve everything for me, existence itself truly will always be the ultimate problem for me no matter what and I'd never wish for any of the suffering this existence causes and brings rather I just wish for true permanent peace. I wish for the peace of never existing ever again where this existence is finally all gone and forgotten about, ceasing to exist truly would solve everything for me and the peace of never existing again truly is all I personally see as ideal, non-existence really is the only peace and relief for me no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always wished for death.
I truly have always wished for death and it's all I'll wish and hope for no matter what, for me non-existence truly is always preferable to suffering all for the sake of it in this futile, torturous existence I never would have wished for, I find it the most dreadful, terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all. Human existence to me truly is just pointless, futile suffering and I'd never wish to suffer at all rather I just wish for non-existence and it's all I've ever wished for, only the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep appeals to me where this existence is finally no longer my problem and all is forgotten.

Personally I'd always prefer to die than be trapped in this pointless existence suffering all for the sake of it just waiting to die anyway, existence to me is just unnecessary suffering and cruelty, I find it a burden to be conscious in this existence and have to exist at all and it's a burden that only ceasing to exist can bring me relief from, I've always wished to not exist as I just have no interest in the burden of human existence. I never have wished to exist and never could do, rather I just want to permanently cease existing in peace and never exist ever again, I just wish for permanent relief from this existence I never would have chosen that I saw as causing nothing but suffering and my wish to die is a result of existence, simply just existing on it's own is enough to make me wish for death, I wish for non-existence because I exist and it's all I'll hope and wish for no matter what, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence I always saw as the most terrible, cruel mistake.

 

[FuneralCry]

I was never meant to exist.
I truly was never meant for something as cruel and pointless as existence at all and I never should have suffered in this existence, to me existing truly is just futile, terrible suffering and it's suffering I was never meant for. Personally I'd always prefer to die than be burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it, existence to me just feels like a dreadful, cruel mistake and it's a mistake ultimately responsible for causing endless amounts of cruelty and torture. It's all just so terrible to me and I was never meant for any of this, I was never meant to be enslaved and trapped in this reality where there is all this endless suffering without the option to just painlessly die in peace and never exist ever again but of course the suffering just continues, nothing would make me wish for existence and existence could never be worth it for me.

I see no value to suffering so unnecessarily in this terrible, torturous existence I saw as causing nothing but suffering, personally I'd prefer to avoid existence and all the immense harm it causes no matter what, I truly was never meant for the abomination of existence, I was never meant for an existence of pointless suffering rather I'm only meant for peace, I'm only meant for the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is finally gone and this existence is no longer my problem. Existence truly does feel like nothing but suffering to me and as long as I exist I'll only hope for permanent relief from this existence I truly was never meant for and could never be no matter what, I'd never wish to exist under any circumstance but rather I just hope for nothingness, I only hope for permanent peace from this existence I was never meant for that only caused me to suffer.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've only wished for eternal sleep.
I truly have only wished for eternal sleep and it's all I'll wish for no matter what, I'd never wish to suffer in this cruel, futile existence, I see nothing appealing and nothing desirable about existing in general rather I see it as such a burden to exist and I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence. The tiredness I feel truly is such that only eternal sleep can take away for me, I only hope to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and never suffer ever again but of course all the suffering just continues in this existence I never would have wished for, eternal sleep truly is all that can bring me peace from the terrible cruelty and pain of existing as after all only in death will I be unable to suffer.

Only non-existence can solve everything for me and bring me peace from an existence I saw as causing nothing but suffering, only in the absence of existence will I be unable to suffer and unable to be harmed in any way and to never suffer ever again is all I hope for, I just wish to fall asleep permanently and forget about this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake. I'd never wish for existence under any circumstances and I see no value to suffering in this existence in general, eternal sleep truly is all that could ever be desirable for me no matter what as I'd never wish to suffer in this existence, I just want nothingness instead. I find it deeply undesirable to be conscious at all burdened with this existence, ceasing to exist truly is the only peace for me and I'll only be at peace once I no longer suffer in this cruel, torturous existence I never would have wished for at all.

 

[FuneralCry]

So much cruelty in existing.
There truly is so much cruelty in this terrible, torturous existence, it's so horrific to me, I see existing as just being suffering all for the sake of it that was completely unecessary that there was never a need for, nothing would make me wish for the pain of existing, nothing would make me wish to suffer in this pointless existence where there is all this terrible cruelty that just tortures existing beings until death takes away all for them anyway. To me existence itself really is the problem as it's the source of all suffering and cruelty, I'll always see it as so dreadful and harmful to exist, I'd never wish to be enslaved in this reality where there is all this terrible cruelty where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel rather I just wish for nothingness.

I just wish for some peace from the cruel, futile burden of human existence where I cannot be harmed in any way and this existence is finally no longer my problem, the way I see it to exist means to suffer so unnecessarily and to die means to never suffer ever again. I only wish and hope for the absence of all cruelty and suffering where finally this existence is all forgotten about and I can be at peace, to painlessly cease existing truly is all I see as desirable and could ever do no matter what, I just want to never suffer, I wish to be permanently at peace from this torturous existence I always saw as causing nothing but suffering and there's just so much cruelty in existing, I'll always find it painful to be conscious in this existence just waiting to die anyway.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing at all is always something so terrible and dreadful to me.
No matter what I'll always see it as something so dreadful and terrible to exist at all, being forced into existence is always such a tragedy to me especially as there were never any disadvantages to never suffering at all yet there is no limit as to how torturous this existence that I always saw as so unnecessary and futile can get. To me existence truly is an unnecessary harm that just causes suffering all for the sake of it that there was never a need for at all and existence itself is the source of all suffering and ultimate cause of all that torments existing beings.

I could never see any benefit, point and value to being burdened with this existence at all and I find it a burden to simply be conscious, nothing would make me wish to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence and more than anything I wish I was never forced into this existence of pointless suffering, never existing truly would have saved me from so much suffering. Personally I'd always prefer to die as after all there are no disadvantages to being non-existent but more than anything I wish I never suffered, only never suffering is truly ideal to me what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself and as long as I exist I truly will only wish and hope for non-existence. I just want to never suffer ever again, existence to me truly is the most cruel, harmful imposition that just causes so much suffering just for one to decay and die anyway, existence to me truly does just feel like a terrible mistake, I'll always find it so terrible to be conscious at all, I suffer simply from existing and it's suffering that only permanently ceasing to exist could ever take away for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Wishing only for non-existence.
I truly do only hope and wish for non-existence, I only wish to never suffer ever again, personally I could never see anything desirable about suffering in this dreadful, torturous existence rather I just wish to be gone, I only hope for permanent peace from an existence that only ever caused me pain and there's just so much pain in this existence I always saw as the most terrible, tragic mistake. To me human existence truly does just feel like pointless suffering, I see it as a burden to exist and it's a burden that has only ever caused me to suffer, only non-existence appeals to me and is all I've ever wished for, I just wish to never suffer ever again but of course all the suffering just continues in this existence I never would have wished for and never would have chosen.

I truly was never meant for any of this and I'd never wish for existence under any circumstances rather I just wish for the peace of never suffering ever again, I just wish for the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is gone and forgotten about for me. I see existence as just being suffering all for the sake of it just for one to decay and die anyway and it's all just so cruel, painful and unnecessary to me, all I personally hope for is to painlessly die and never exist again, I wish for no more pain, no more suffering rather I just wish for the peace of eternal sleep where nothing can concern me and all is finally gone, I'll always find it deeply undesirable to exist no matter what and I suffer simply from existing, I suffer just from being conscious and it's suffering that only never existing again can bring me relief from.

 

[FuneralCry]

Non-existence truly is all that can personally bring me peace from pointless suffering.
It truly is all that can bring me peace as after all if I don't exist then I cannot suffer in any way, there is no suffering in what I personally see as the only ideal state which is eternal non-existence, only ceasing to exist could ever be ideal for me personally and is all that can bring me peace from pointless unnecessary suffering in this existence I never would have chose where I'm just waiting to die anyway and I suffer so much from waiting. It's suffering that only non-existence can take away for me, non-existence would solve everything for me as what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself, I find it an abomination, a terrible tragic mistake to suffer in this existence.

I'd always prefer to die as I find it the most cruel, torturous burden to exist but more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, I wish I was never forced into this existence of cruelty and terrible unnecessary suffering where existing beings suffer all for the sake of it tormented until death takes away all anyway. Non-existence truly is the only peace for me and is all I could ever wish and hope for, I'd never wish to be conscious of anything no matter what, to be conscious in this existence and have to suffer so much as a result is such a terrible, futile burden that I see no value to. For me non-existence is all that's positive, it's the only peace, freedom and relief for me from an existence I never saw as worth it in the first place, I only hope to painlessly die and never exist again.

 

[FuneralCry]

Finding existence to be deeply undesirable.
I personally truly do find existence to be deeply undesirable in every way possible, I'd never wish to be conscious in this existence but rather I just wish for non-existence, I wish for permanent nothingness where this existence is finally all forgotten about. I just see nothing desirable about having to exist at all, never have done and never could do no matter what, nothing would make me wish to suffer in this existence I always saw as a mistake, I'll always see existence as something so dreadful and futile.

I find it so burdensome to be enslaved in this existence of pointless suffering and I just have no interest in any of this either, nothing would make me wish to suffer in this existence, I just don't see any value, point and benefit to existence rather existence is something I only want to escape from, it's something I only wish for true eternal peace from, I just don't wish to suffer in this existence at all rather I just want all to be gone for me. I see no benefit to existence rather it's something painful and unnecessary that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there was never a need for, the thought of suffering and struggling in this existence all for the sake of it just to be tortured dying in agony from old age is just so terrible to me, I'd just never wish for any of this, what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself and I suffer simply from existing, just existing on it's own is enough to make me wish for death and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope to be gone, I only wish to be at peace from this existence I saw as deeply undesirable.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence to me is just pointless suffering.
No matter what I truly will just see existing as pointless suffering with no limit as to how much one can suffer, I'd never wish to be enslaved in this terrible, torturous existence I always saw as the most cruel mistake rather I'd just prefer to not suffer at all and only non-existence can bring me the relief from suffering I search for. Nothing would make me wish for the cruel, futile burden of human existence, I just find it so dreadful how I was forced into this existence of pointless unnecessary suffering at all even know there was never a need for any of it all, existence itself will always be the ultimate problem to me as it's the source of all suffering and cruelty.

I see it as so burdensome to simply exist and I see it as a tragedy how I was forced to suffer in this existence, I'll always just see existence as suffering all for the sake of it and it's suffering I'd always prefer to avoid, I could personally never see value in suffering in this terrible, torturous existence rather I just want to painlessly die in peace and forget about it all, non-existence truly is preferable to me than all this pointless suffering in this existence that always felt like a mistake to me. I could personally never see any value to suffering in this existence rather I just hope and wish for nothingness, I just want all to be gone and forgotten about for me, I'll always see so much cruelty in how painless death is denied for me even know existence truly is just pointless suffering that can easily get way more unbearable, I'd rather not exist at all than prolong all the suffering just to suffer way more.

 

[FuneralCry]

The terrible cruelty of existence.
There truly is so much cruelty in this existence, it's all just so terrible and painful, personally I'd never wish to be conscious of any of this under any circumstance, what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself as after all it's the source of all suffering and without existence I cannot suffer in any way. I see it as so futile and torturous to be enslaved in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts and at any moment existing truly can very easily get way more unbearable and torturous, there is literally no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

To me existence is such a harmful burden and I see it as a tragedy to be burdened with this existence that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there was never a need for and it's all just so cruel leading to decay and death anyway, for me personally ceasing to exist would be the solution to what I see as the ultimate problem which is existence itself, in an existence where there's all this terrible cruelty death truly is the only relief for me, I see death as the solution to suffering for me. I personally see death as my solution to all this terrible cruelty and as long as I exist I'll only hope and wish to be gone, I only hope to be permanently unconscious and unable to suffer in any way, to me existence will always feel like a mistake no matter what, I see it as a tragedy how there is all this terrible cruelty, I see existence as an abomination that just causes harm and it's something I'd never wish for no matter what, never existing ever again truly would be a relief for me.