Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

Never meant for this torturous existence.
I really was never meant for this torturous existence and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is to never suffer ever again, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering rather I just want to sleep permanently, existence is just so cruel, so painful and so torturous and I'd never wish for any of this suffering, the fact that this existence was even imposed really is the most terrible dreadful tragedy to me.

I'm just always so tired of suffering in this existence I personally always saw as a mistake, I'd just never wish for any of this suffering and to me existing really is only suffering, in this torturous existence where there's all this cruelty with no limit as to how much one can suffer, eternal non-existence truly is all that's desirable for me and is all I hope for as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in the peace of non-existence where all is finally forgotten and I'd just always prefer to forget about this harmful, torturous existence no matter what. In this existence where there's all this pain and suffering non-existence really is the only relief for me as after all, only in non-existence am I unable to suffer, if I don't exist then nothing can concern me which is all I wish and hope for, I really was just never meant for any of this and I just wish I never suffered more than anything, to me existence truly does feel like the most terrible mistake and I'd always prefer non-existence over suffering all for the sake of it and to me existing really does feel like only suffering, existence to me really is the problem.

 

[FuneralCry]

Just never wishing to be conscious.
No matter what I'd just personally never wish to be conscious of anything at all, to me existence really does just feel like the most terrible tragic mistake that just causes harm and suffering and I just wish I was never forced to suffer more than anything, I find it so dreadful how this existence of suffering all for the sake of it was even imposed causing all this harm, cruelty and suffering as a result. To suffer in this existence really is always so terrible to me and I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all rather I just wish for peace and I'll only be at peace once I'm no longer burdened with this existence of unnecessary suffering that I just never would had chosen and would never wish for, I'm so tired of suffering all for the sake of it in this existence.

I just wish I never suffered more than anything rather I just wish for nothingness and I'll only be at peace once I'm finally unconscious of this existence I just never would had chosen and there's just so much suffering and so much cruelty in existing, it truly is all so cruel to me and I'd just never wish for this existence of suffering all for the sake of it, I just wish I was never burdened with this existence. I never should had been forced to suffer in this cruel, deeply undesirable existence that just causes all this cruelty, harm and suffering until non-existence takes away all anyway, I'd just always prefer to not exist, I'd just never wish to be conscious of anything at all but of course the suffering of this existence I personally always saw as a mistake just continues.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always seeing existence as an abomination.
No matter what I really will always see existence as an abomination that just causes all this harm, cruelty and suffering until non-existence takes away all anyway and I'd just always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this harmful, torturous existence suffering all for the sake of it and I'll always see existing as only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured just to die in agony from old age and cease existing anyway.

In this existence where there's all this cruelty and suffering non-existence really is the only peace and relief for me and is all I hope for, I'm just always so tired of suffering all for the sake of it and I'll always see existing as only being suffering, I suffer just from being conscious in this existence I never would had chose and I'd just never wish for any of this rather I only hope for non-existence, only non-existence can solve everything for me and take away what I personally see as the true problem which is existence itself as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer. For me non-existence truly is all that's desirable and I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing and existing to me really is only suffering, I'm always so tired of being burdened with this cruel, futile existence I just never would had chosen and there's just so much suffering in existing, it's all just so terrible and dreadful to me and I'll suffer until all is finally forgotten and gone in non-existence anyway, the peace of eternal sleep truly is all I could ever hope for, I wish for no more suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only hoping for peace from the suffering of existing.
No matter what all I could ever hope and wish for is peace from the cruelty and suffering of existing, I just want to never exist ever again but of course I continue to suffer instead and it's all just so cruel and terrible to me, in this existence where there's all this suffering all for the sake of it non-existence really is the only relief for me and is all I could see as desirable.

I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering rather I just want all to finally be forgotten in non-existence, existence really is just so painful and so cruel and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to never wake ever again, all I could ever hope and wish for is non-existence, I'd just never wish for this existence that just causes and brings all this suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for and for me existence itself really is the problem. There's just so much cruelty in this torturous, futile existence and it's all just so terrible to me, I just want some peace and for me non-existence really is the only peace, I just wish to never suffer ever again and I always suffer from how painless death is so cruelly denied for me so finally I can escape from this existence that was so tragically imposed causing all this harm as a result and there's just so much suffering in existing, I'd never wish to suffer at all.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd just never wish for any of this suffering.
I really would never wish for any of this suffering and more than anything I just wish I never suffered at all, I'll just always see it as so terrible and so torturous to suffer in this existence and as long as I exist I'll only hope for an eternal sleep where I'm no longer burdened with this existence and finally unable to suffer and I'll always see it as a burden to exist, it's a burden so cruel that only ever caused me to suffer.

I'm just always so tired of suffering in this existence I personally saw as the most terrible mistake and there's just so much pain and so much suffering in existing, I'd never wish for any of this and I'll always find it so dreadful to exist, I suffer simply from existing and it's suffering only ceasing to exist can bring me peace from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer in any way, there are no disadvantages to permanent non-existence where all is finally forgotten and as long as I exist I'll only wish for some peace. I just want to never wake ever again but of course the suffering and cruelty of existing just continues and it's all so terrible, dreadful and painful to me, I just wish I could choose to never exist ever again, I just want all to be gone for me, I really am always so tired of being burdened with this existence and it's a burden only non-existence can bring me relief from, the only relief for me could ever lie in an eternal dreamless sleep where this existence is finally no longer my problem and to be permanently free from this existence of unnecessary suffering is all I hope for.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always seeing existence as the most terrible tragedy.
No matter what I'll always see existence as the most terrible tragedy and it's one that just causes endless amounts of suffering, cruelty and harm until non-existence takes away all anyway and I really would always prefer to not exist than suffer in this futile, torturous existence that I just never would had chosen and never would had wished for. In this existence so cruel and futile only non-existence could ever bring me the peace I search for.

I just hope and wish to never suffer ever again but of course the cruelty and suffering of existing just continues and it's all so dreadful to me, for me non-existence really is the only peace in this deeply undesirable existence that only ever caused me to suffer and I'll always see existing as only being suffering no matter what, I suffer simply from being conscious in this cruel, futile existence, to me existence itself really is just an unnecessary harm and I'm always so tired of being burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it just wishing for the peace of an eternal sleep. For me non-existence truly is the only relief, only in non-existence will I be safe from and free from all suffering in this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting to not exist anyway and I'll always see existing as just waiting for death, to me existing really is unnecessary suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and I always wish to just sleep, I only hope for some peace and I'll only be at peace once I'm no longer burdened with this existence of suffering all for the sake of it that I just never would had chose.

 

[FuneralCry]

Non-existence is the only relief for me.
It truly is the only relief for me and is all I could ever hope for, I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering rather all I wish for is to never wake ever again, only non-existence could ever bring me the peace I search for from this cruel, torturous existence where I'm just hoping and waiting to not exist anyway.

I'd just always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this existence of suffering all for the sake of it and no matter what I'll just always see existing as only being suffering, I suffer simply from being conscious in this existence I always saw as the most cruel, terrible tragic mistake and there's just so much cruelty and so much suffering in existing, it's all so dreadful to me and as long as I exist I'll only hope to never wake ever again. Non-existence is the only relief for me as after all, only in non-existence will I be unable to suffer with all finally forgotten instead and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer so unnecessarily all for the sake of it, for me non-existence really is the only relief from this torturous existence of suffering and cruelty that I just never would had chose and there's just so much suffering in this dreadful existence. It really is all just so painful to me and I always suffer from being burdened with this painful existence, I always wish for a death like never waking ever again, I only hope for no more pain and no more suffering but of course the cruelty and suffering of existing just continues with me trapped in this existence I just never would had chosen.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

All my love to you, my fellow sufferer

 

[FuneralCry]

Always so tired of it all.
I really am always so tired of it all and more than anything I just wish I never suffered, I never should had been forced to suffer in this cruel, futile existence I personally always saw as a mistake and I'll always see it as so dreadful and terrible how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, for me existence truly is the problem and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is non-existence, only eternal dreamless sleep is positive for me and is all that can bring me the relief I search for from this deeply undesirable torturous existence I just never would had chosen and would never wish for.

For me existing really is just unnecessary suffering and I'd never wish for the suffering of existing rather I only hope for nothingness, I just want all to finally be forgotten for me with no more pain and for me existing is just so painful, I'll always see existing as only suffering with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get and I suffer just from existing. It's suffering only ceasing to exist can bring me relief from as after all, if I'm gone I cannot suffer in any way, only eternal sleep can bring me any peace and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to fall asleep permanently, for me existence really is the problem and I'm just always so tired of being burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it and to me existing really is just only suffering, I suffer simply from existing and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is to never exist ever again.

 

[Michelstaedter]

I just want to say that all these days I wasn't on the forum, I was thinking to myself just like you. I see myself over and over again, with a bullet in my head, blood, my inert body, losing my life... Dying.
It's cruel to be alive, at least in that idea of knowing that all this is senseless cruelty, existence, pain, the anxiety of wanting to die and not being able to.

 

[FuneralCry]

So tired of this painful existence.
I truly am always so tired of this painful existence that to me is only suffering and I'd just never wish to suffer in this existence rather all I hope for is nothingness, for me non-existence really is all that's positive and is all that can bring me the relief I search for, only ceasing to exist can solve everything for me and take away what I personally see as the true problem which is existence itself. I just wish for no more pain rather I just want all to finally be gone for me and I'll only be at peace once I'm unconscious for all eternity with no more cruelty and no more suffering and I'll just always see existence as the most cruel, terrible tragic mistake.

I'd never wish for any of this rather I just want to never suffer ever again, for me non-existence truly is all that's desirable and is all that can bring me any peace from this torturous, futile existence I just never would had chosen and never would had wished for and there's just so much suffering in existing. All I wish for is to never exist ever again but of course all the suffering just continues and I truly am always so tired of it all, I only hope for the peace of eternal sleep but of course the suffering and torture of existing just continues, it really is all so dreadful to me and I just wish I never suffered, I never should had been forced to suffer in this existence at all and for me eternal sleep really is the only relief, I'm always so tired of this painful existence that I'd never wish for no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

To suffer in this existence is always so dreadful to me.
No matter what I'll just always see it as so dreadful to suffer in this cruel, futile and torturous existence and I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing rather all I hope for is eternal non-existence where all is finally gone and there is no more pain and no more cruelty.

I just want all to be forgotten for me but of course the suffering just continues with me just hoping to be gone and as long as I exist I'll just wish for the peace of an eternal sleep, I just wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering and I see it as so dreadful to be burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it just hoping and waiting to not exist anyway, only non-existence could ever bring me the relief I search for from the cruelty and torture of existing where I'm just waiting for death anyway and I'll always just see existing as suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much one can be tortured. I'll always see existing as only suffering and I suffer simply from existing, I'd just never wish to exist at all rather all I hope for is to never suffer ever again, I just want all to finally be forgotten for me, I just see it as so dreadful to be conscious burdened with this existence capable of suffering to unlimited extents and it's suffering only non-existence can bring me any relief from, all I wish for is to sleep, I just want to rest, I only hope for some peace and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to fall asleep permanently.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always seeing existence as the problem.
No matter what I really will always see existence as the problem and it's one that just causes and brings all this cruelty and suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I wish for is to peacefully cease existing and never suffer ever again. I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering and only non-existence can solve and take away what I personally see as the true problem which is existence itself as after all there is no suffering in an eternal dreamless sleep where finally nothing can concern me and all is gone, simply just existing is enough to make me wish for death and I'll always and only hope to not exist no matter what.

I wish for no more pain and no more suffering rather all I hope for is to sleep, existence really is always the problem for me and I'm just always so tired of being burdened with this futile, torturous existence suffering all for the sake of it just hoping and waiting to be gone and I'll just always see existing as waiting for death, existence to me is a burden only non-existence can take away for me and bring me peace from. I just wish for peace from all the suffering and I suffer simply from being conscious in this existence I always saw as the problem, existence is just so cruel, so torturous and harmful and I personally suffer simply from existing, I'd never wish for any of this suffering no matter what rather I just hope for peace where all is finally forgotten for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only in non-existence will I be at peace from this torturous existence.
For me non-existence truly is the only peace and is all I could wish for no matter what, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to fall asleep permanently to finally escape and finally be at peace from this torturous existence I just never would had chosen and just never would had wished for.

For me existence really could never be a desirable state rather I just see it as an unnecessary harm that causes endless amounts of cruelty and suffering until non-existence takes away all anyway and for me existence really is the problem, I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of existing rather all I hope for is to sleep for all eternity. I just want all to be gone and forgotten for me and I'm just always so tired of suffering so unnecessarily in this existence I personally always saw as such a terrible harmful mistake and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is permanent non-existence where all is finally gone and there is no more pain and no more suffering. I'll just always find it so painful to be burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it and it's pain only non-existence can take away for me and bring me relief from, for me existence really is the problem and I'd never wish for any of this rather all I want is to peacefully cease existing, I wish for no more suffering and it feels like I've suffered for so long in this cruel, torturous existence I just never would had chosen.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence is just so harmful.
It really is something so harmful and something that just causes and brings so much suffering until all is finally gone and forgotten in non-existence anyway and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is to never suffer ever again, I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering rather all I want is to be at peace and I'll always find it so harmful to be burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it and for me existing really does feel like only suffering. I'd just never wish to be conscious of this cruel, futile existence of unnecessary suffering capable of suffering to unlimited amounts and I'm just always so tired of being burdened with this existence and it's tiredness only non-existence can take away for me and bring me relief from.

I'll personally always see existence as an abomination and I suffer simply from existing, I really would never wish for any of this rather I just want to be permanently free from it all but of course the suffering of existing just continues and it's all just so dreadful to me. I'll always find it so dreadful to be conscious in this harmful existence and to me existence is just something so harmful as after all it's the cause and source of all suffering and I suffer simply from existing, I just wish I was never forced to suffer more than anything and nothing would ever make me wish for any of this rather all I want is to forget about this existence, I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I'll always find it so painful to exist.

 

[FuneralCry]

So much suffering in existing.
There really is just so much suffering in existing and more than anything I wish I never suffered, I wish I was never burdened with this torturous existence of cruelty and suffering all for the sake of it that I just never would had chosen and never would had wished for.

I'll just always see it as so terrible and dreadful how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and the suffering and torture of existing is endless, it's all just so cruel to me and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is the peace of an eternal sleep where finally all is forgotten and nothing can concern me and I'm just always so tired of being burdened with this existence of unnecessary suffering and it's tiredness only non-existence can bring me relief from. All I wish for is an eternal dreamless sleep free from all suffering where all is finally forgotten and I'd just always prefer to forget about this existence, I just wish for no more pain but of course the suffering just continues and I'll always see existing as being only suffering, I suffer simply from existing and in this existence where there's all this cruelty and torture non-existence really is the only relief for me and is all I could hope for in this cruel, deeply undesirable existence that just causes all this pain and suffering until non-existence takes away all anyway, existence to me really is the most dreadful, torturous imposition and I'm just so tired of it all, non-existence truly is all I could hope and wish for no matter what, I just wish for no more suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

Non-existence really is the only relief for me.
It truly is the only relief for me and is all I could hope for, I just wish for no more suffering and I'm always so tired of suffering in this cruel, futile existence I just never would had chosen and never would had wished for. For me existence truly is the problem and it's one only non-existence can solve and take away for me, I just want all to finally be gone and forgotten but of course the cruelty and suffering of existing just continues and I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence I personally always saw as a mistake and there's just so much suffering and so much cruelty in existing.

It really is all so dreadful to me and I'd never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is some peace and only eternal dreamless sleep can bring me the peace and relief I search for from this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting to not exist anyway and I'll always see existence as just waiting for death. I suffer simply from existing and it's suffering only eternal non-existence can bring me any peace from and if I'm gone I cannot suffer which is all I wish and hope for, I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I'll always find it so painful to exist, I just want to never suffer ever again but of course all the suffering of existing just continues and as long as I exist I'll only hope for peace from it all, I just want this existence of suffering all for the sake of it to finally be no longer my problem, I'm just so tired.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never wanting to exist.
No matter what I really will never wish to exist rather I just wish I never suffered, I wish I was never forced to suffer in this futile, torturous existence more than anything and I'll always see existing as only being suffering, I suffer simply from being conscious in this cruel, dreadful existence I just never would had wished for and just never would had chosen and more than anything I wish I was never burdened with this existence.

I'll just always see it as so terrible to suffer in this existence and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed, to me existence really is a imposition that just causes harm and suffering and pain and problems there were never a need for and I'd just never wish for any of this suffering, I never wished to exist and never would do, to me existing truly is only suffering. It's suffering so cruel and dreadful with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and I always suffer so much from how I cannot just choose to fall into an eternal dreamless sleep and never exist ever again as all I wish for is no more pain and no more suffering and I'd never wish for the pain of existing. I just never should had been forced to suffer at all but of course the cruelty and suffering of this existence I never would had chosen just continues and I really am always so tired of it all, I'm so tired of being burdened with this existence of unnecessary suffering, I truly would never wish for any of this rather all I wish and hope for is non-existence, only non-existence can bring me the peace I search for.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only hoping for some peace.
No matter what all I could ever hope and wish for is some peace, I just wish for the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep where all is finally gone and forgotten but of course I continue to suffer in this dreadful, torturous existence I just never would had chosen and never would had wished for.

More than anything I just wish I was never burdened with this existence that just causes and brings all this cruelty and suffering and I always suffer so much from how I cannot just choose to fall asleep permanently and never exist ever again as for me non-existence really is the only peace and is all I see as desirable, I just wish to never suffer ever again, I just want all to finally be forgotten for me and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to find peace from this existence I personally always saw as the most terrible mistake. I'll always see it as so dreadful and so terrible how there's all this suffering and cruelty in existing and to me existing really does feel like only suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, it really is all just so dreadful to me and as long as I exist I'll always have so much dread for what lies ahead, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering, I'd never wish to exist no matter what rather I only wish for some peace and only non-existence can bring me the peace I search for from the suffering in this existence I just never would had wished for and never would had chosen no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

To peacefully cease existing is all that's desirable for me.
Itr truly is all that's desirable for me as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in an eternal dreamless sleep where all is finally gone and forgotten, I'd just always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this cruel, torturous existence I personally always saw as the most terrible mistake, and there's just so much suffering and so much cruelty in existing.

No matter what I'll just always find it so deeply undesirable to be conscious in this existence that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get, for me non-existence really is the only peace and relief and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to fall into an eternal dreamless sleep to finally escape from all future suffering in this existence I just never would had chosen. I'd personally always prefer to prevent suffering through ceasing to exist than prolong it just to suffer way more and the suffering of existing really is endless, it's all just so dreadful and terrible to me and I personally suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only non-existence could ever bring me peace from and to be permanently at peace from this existence truly is all I hope for, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I always find it so painful to be conscious in this cruel, dreadful existence I'd just never wish for that only non-existence can bring me relief from, I only wish to never suffer ever again and as long as I exist I'll only hope for the peace of eternal sleep.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence is just so unnecessary.
No matter what I'll always see existence as something so unnecessary that just causes and brings all this suffering all for the sake of it until non-existence takes away all anyway and I'd just never wish for any of this rather I wish I never suffered at all. I just wish I was never burdened with this cruel, torturous existence of suffering all for the sake of it that I never would had wished for and never would had chosen, the fact that this existence of unnecessary suffering was even imposed truly is the most terrible tragedy to me and I'd just always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this existence.

I wish I never suffered, nothing would make me wish for this existence that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much agony one can feel rather all I wish for is to permanently not exist, existing to me really is only suffering and I suffer just from being conscious in this existence I just never would had chosen under any circumstances. I'll always see it as so futile to exist, existence to me really is just waiting for death and I always suffer so much from waiting to die in this existence that was completely unnecessary that just caused and brought all this cruelty and suffering and there's just so much suffering in existing, I suffer simply from existing and my wish to not exist is a response to existence, it's a response to being forced to suffer in this unnecessary existence I personally always saw as a mistake and I wish I never suffered more than anything.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always seeing existing as just waiting to die.
No matter what I'll always see existing as just being waiting to die, it's just suffering all for the sake of it that there was just never a need for at all and I just wish I never suffered, to me existing really is so futile and I'm just always so tired of being burdened with this cruel, futile existence and there's just so much cruelty and so much suffering in existing.

It's all so terrible and dreadful to me and I always find it such a tragedy how this torturous, harmful exstence that just caused all this pain and suffering was even imposed even know it was all completely unnecessary, to me existing really is just suffering all for the sake of it and I suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only eternal non-existence could ever bring me peace from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in an eternal sleep and I'd always prefer to not exist than suffer in this existence where I'm just waiting to not exist anyway. I find it so terrifying how a human can suffer for so long just to face way worse cruelty and torture and there's just so much suffering in existing, I personally suffer just from being conscious in this existence and I'd just never wish to be conscious of anything at all rather I just wish I never suffered, I wish I was never burdened with this existence that was so unnecessary that just caused and brought so much pain and there's just so much pain in existing, I'll always see existing as only suffering and I personally suffer simply from existing and it's suffering only non-existence can bring me relief from.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always finding it so dreadful to exist.
No matter what I really will always find it so dreadful to exist and I'd just never wish for the cruelty and suffering of existing rather all I hope for is non-existence where all is finally gone and forgotten, I'll always find it so dreadful to be conscious burdened with this existence destined to decay and die anyway capable of suffering to unlimited extents and to me existing truly is only suffering.

I suffer simply from existing and it's suffering only ceasing to exist could ever bring me relief from, I'll just always see existing as being dreadful unnecessary suffering with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get and I'll just always find it so dreadful to be burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it and I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of this futile, torturous existence rather all I wish for is nothingness, I just wish for an eternal dreamless sleep free from all pain and suffering where all is finally forgotten and this dreadful existence is just no longer my concern. All I wish for is to never suffer ever again but of course the cruelty and suffering of existing just continues and it's all just so terrible to me, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence at all rather all I hope for is non-existence, I just want all to finally be gone for me but of course I continue to suffer in this existence I personally always saw as such a dreadful mistake and it's always so dreadful to me how there's all this suffering all for the sake of it in existing, I really will always find it so dreadful to suffer in this existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed.
No matter what I really will always find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed, I'd just never wish for the cruelty and suffering of existing rather I just hope for non-existence, I just want all to finally be gone and forgotten for me but only never suffering at all is perfection to me, never being burdened with this existence I personally always saw as a mistake would had saved me from so much unnecessary suffering in this existence where I just hope and wait to not exist anyway and I'll always see existing as just waiting for death, it's all so terrible and dreadful to me and I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence.

I just wish this cruel, torturous existence that just caused and brought all this suffering and problems there were never a need for was just never imposed more than anything, to suffer in this existence is always something so deeply undesirable to me and I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of existing where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to be tortured by old age and the suffering of existing truly is endless. For me existence itself really is the true problem and simply just existing is enough to make me wish for death, I suffer as a result of being conscious in this torturous existence and it's suffering only non-existence can bring me any peace from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in dreamless eternal sleep where finally nothing can concern me and I can rest, I just hope and wish to never suffer ever again.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always preferring to not exist over suffer.
No matter what I truly would always prefer to not exist than suffer and I'm just always so tired of suffering in this cruel, torturous existence I personally always saw as a mistake and it's just so terrible and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering and cruelty in existing. I'd just never wish for any of this no matter what rather I only hope to not exist, only non-existence can bring me the peace I search for from this painful, deeply undesirable existence that I just never would had chosen, for me only non-existence could ever be desirable and is all that can bring me the relief from suffering I search for as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer in any way, there is no suffering in non-existence where all is finally forgotten about.

All I wish for is to be unconscious for all eternity with no more pain and no more suffering but of course the suffering of existing just continues and I'd never wish to suffer no matter what rather all I hope for is non-existence, for me only eternal non-existence where all is finally gone could ever be desirable. Existence to me really is the most dreadful, torturous abomination that just causes all this harm, cruelty and suffering until non-existence takes away all anyway, for me existence itself truly is the problem and I just wish I never suffered more than anything, nothing would ever make me wish for the suffering of existing rather I only hope to not exist, only non-existence could ever take away and solve what I personally see as the true problem which is existence itself, I'd just never wish for any of this rather I only hope and wish for some peace.