• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

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BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
693
Feeling dread and a sinking feeling in my stomach
 
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GoBack

GoBack

Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Sick scared and sorry
 
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PartingGlass

PartingGlass

Member
Dec 26, 2019
58
I'm nervous. Very nervous. I met someone a week ago while I was in the psych ward. We got very close and traded numbers. She's still in there, I left a few days ago. I hope I hear from her. I hope I'm good enough for her.
 
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M

madbananas

Wizard
Apr 29, 2020
620
Oppressed, stigmatised, hopeful, unsure, trapped, lost, heartbroken.
 
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Reiraku

Reiraku

Member
May 5, 2020
69
I just want it to end.
 
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GoBack

GoBack

Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Exhausted hopeless despair
 
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D

diyCTB

Mage
Oct 28, 2018
573
Bored, sad, worried
 
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Arrow

Arrow

Rewrite
May 1, 2020
769
interestingly enough i don't feel so bad atm
 
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GoBack

GoBack

Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Bored, regretful, sad
 
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SpareWheel

SpareWheel

I go on holidays by mistake
May 4, 2020
354
Bored, fed up, trapped. I keep just wandering round my house aimlessly, I try to play a game on PS4, or watch something on Netflix or YouTube but I lose interest in ten minutes. The only two things I do everyday that kind of pass time are working out, and getting a bath. The other 18 hours a day there's nothing. Been in lockdown since the middle of March, in that time the only place I've been is the shop, once a week. If I wasn't desperately unhappy before C19, I sure as shit am now.

I'd kill just to be able to book a hotel and bugger off, spend a few days on the beach and in the pub, or in the pub on the beach. I haven't said more than 10 words to a human being in 7 weeks, and those words will have been please, thank you and goodbye etc. Spoke to mates on WhatsApp but as for actually using my voice, I could have lost it and I wouldn't know lol.

It's not that I'm even bothered about catching the damn thing, I couldn't care less, it's just there's nowhere to go, everything barring essential shops are closed so I can't even be a rebel unless I just wander around aimlessly.
 
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TheSoulless

TheSoulless

I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied
Jan 7, 2020
1,058
I want spring to last forever, I don't want winter to come.
 
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Klee

Klee

Never play cards with a magician.
Apr 19, 2020
136
Sad, mad, bad.
 
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RileyTanaka

RileyTanaka

ill / failure
Mar 20, 2020
264
Just tired of being punished for being myself. Sad that I'm going to be dealing with a lot of chaos, distrust, and contempt for the rest of my shortlived life, even though I just want peace and to be left alone. No gives fuck all about what I have to go through everyday.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,954
i'm stupid. i'm tired. i don't think i make healthy relationships bc i'm just too depressed and that can make me come off as manipulative bc i talk about killing myself so much. i make people worried until the day they decide they can't handle me anymore. i want to ctb. it's almost time. that's how i'm feeling
 
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P

pete_x

Good god, let's eat !
May 9, 2020
340
Everybody hate me. what am i waiting for. seriously i don't know myself anymore, i had a thought on walking into the road a few minutes ago. it had a strong pull. i tried hanging out with some people at my nephews house and had a silent freak-out and just walked away. i sitting here now listening to i put a spell on you for the past 2 hours or sso, i feel sorcerous tonight, i want to see thing sburn and people twist and come apart in flakes that disintegrate into the night, i can think of a few yes indeedy, of a-wailing they are needy and if i had the cash i'd have a great deal more time....
duh duh duh
I put a spell on you
cuz you're miiiiiiine............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
My jaw is killing me, I need to sleep, I'm sick of all these egotistical whining asshats that surround me even from a distance. If the whole world came to an end tomorrow, if society burned to the ground-all the people with it, I would let out a sigh of relief, as I awaited my own end. Also, I hope my mother is happy putting all her focus on people who don't matter and don't need it, because when I'm dead, that's all she will have.
 
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madgod

madgod

psycho, bi, wanting to die • 22
May 26, 2020
51
god wants me in his teeth. religion bleeds all over me. despite my escape i still carry the guilt of a thousand catholic sons yet i was never born a brother. the world around me burns and the heart inside me yerns for a touch of contact or sympathy. cruelty was always a joke to me, i was raised by cruel parents, abused by cruel men, punished by a cruel religion, spit out into a cruel world. sometimes i think humanity died with me when i swallowed all my pills in 2012 and woke up in a hospital with an angry father and a mother who decided to stop caring. maybe the world did end then, maybe this is all a cosmic joke from a dead god killed by the creatures he made. my dog is nice though, and i love my brother and sisters, and i love when i can walk barefooted in mud and feel the earth move when i hold my breath. someday i think we will all find freedom but maybe the hole in the ozon and drone strikes from the sky above with burn us alive and have death be our only freedom. talk about god blessing america. hell fires and all.
i'm stupid. i'm tired. i don't think i make healthy relationships bc i'm just too depressed and that can make me come off as manipulative bc i talk about killing myself so much. i make people worried until the day they decide they can't handle me anymore. i want to ctb. it's almost time. that's how i'm feeling
it's not easy to find someone to care about when you can't even care about yourself. there's always a guilt with it, especially if they feel they need to fix your feelings about death. i wish more people would be okay with understanding everyone is temporary and just enjoy the time as it is, no matter how brief.
I'm nervous. Very nervous. I met someone a week ago while I was in the psych ward. We got very close and traded numbers. She's still in there, I left a few days ago. I hope I hear from her. I hope I'm good enough for her.
i hope you find her too. like minded people are too far and few apart
 
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The Dark Chaos

The Dark Chaos

Craving chaos..
Apr 17, 2020
215
Just struggling to get up from myy bed (its past noon here). Andd feelingg emptyy as alwayys.
 
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GoBack

GoBack

Paragon
Apr 25, 2020
997
Too hot. If I could get to the sea I'd go in and never come back out
 
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Lost.

Lost.

Antidepressants and antipsychotics are posion
Feb 13, 2020
173
Numb (as usual) :(
 
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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
Dysphoric. Suicidal. Manic episode.
 
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sadghost

sadghost

S
May 17, 2020
232
I feel nostalgic, numb.

The world is so depressing to me now. I think back on life and back to my childhood and I remember how adventurous I used to be in a world full of colour.

Now everything just looks lifeless and bleak. I look around and just see everything in shades of grey. I feel chained to my house, where I cannot wander too far - but I want to. I want to go far, far away from this world.
 
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M

madbananas

Wizard
Apr 29, 2020
620
Stuck, sad, worthless.
 
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BlackPoppet

BlackPoppet

Wise woman and Celtic sky person
Mar 7, 2020
991
Full of trepidation about the day ahead.
 
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H

hakku

Member
May 30, 2020
63
I applied for a position that I thought I was a shoe-in to get, and then I got rejected. I've lost all the confidence I've ever had, which was not much, to be honest. This leaves me with not much time to stay in the country I want to stay in. I'll have to go back to live with my overbearing and disappointed parents. I'd rather die than do that. I'm still torn between to methods of ctb, NN and SN. NN would be preferred but for the life of me I can't find my carotid and induce passing out (fucking can't even kill myself). With SN, there's no way I can get access to the drugs required for 100% success rate. All I have is a bunch of Hydrocodone that won't even kill me. Why is it so fucking hard to just fucking die?
 
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Woodnote

Woodnote

Goodbye
Oct 23, 2019
277
I don't know how much more of this I can take..
 
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Lorntroubles

Lorntroubles

Photography by Haris Nukem.
Jan 19, 2020
3,095
So fuckin stressed out, got-fuckin-dammit!!!
 
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Broken Chimera

Broken Chimera

The abyss also gazes into you
May 27, 2019
972
Overwhelmed. When it rains, it pours.
 
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Lost.

Lost.

Antidepressants and antipsychotics are posion
Feb 13, 2020
173
I feel nostalgic, numb.

The world is so depressing to me now. I think back on life and back to my childhood and I remember how adventurous I used to be in a world full of colour.

Now everything just looks lifeless and bleak. I look around and just see everything in shades of grey. I feel chained to my house, where I cannot wander too far - but I want to. I want to go far, far away from this world.
I can relate :/
 
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